5 days of com has pass

hai ... am i that least noticed and remembered
or that period has gone ...
totally into ur happiness ...

haha lol ... or maybe i was first wrong abt myself ...

somehow i felt u know my feelings ...
somehow u make me felt that u have no feelings for me ...

haha ... maybe i wasnt able to attract attentation ...
haha ... no look no built haha ...

haha lol ...

hai ... sometimes i realli miss those feelings where u can hug someone u like or love so tight ... and those warm those assurance from those hug ...
haha ... longing for it ...

haha hai ...
i always look for someone i could consult to ...
a veri personalised person ...
jus meant for me ...
but always end up ... i am talking to my mei ...
not that she is my back up ...
is that i know she is always there for me ...
haha ... but still she is my mei not some one specially meant for me ...
i look up in the sky at night ...
i saw that a full mo0nz
then a few days i saw a crescent ...
then a few days later gone then
a few days later back as a crescent
then exactly after one month back as full moon ...
is ur attention and feeling and attraction for me is like that changing ...
the changing moon ...
i look up into the sky ... how i wish i could be the star right beside to accompany u ...
but somehow ... u not always there ...sometimes u move further also .. sometimes closer ...

haha ...

i am most willingly to be the person to enbrace u in my hug ...
haha ...

yes i would ...
but now i am realli lost ... i dun know wher to start to get closer to u again ...
lost in the night sky ... i dun seem to be able to see u ...
but i know i will get to see u veri soon ...

haha maybe dan lian is so tong ku ba ...
i am of tree element by chinese theory
the moon is my light at night ... without u i am jus another usless tree giving out carbon dioxide ... waiting there to die ...
for u i am willing to gif u nearly everything ...
i know that since the day when i first gave u morning call ...

i realli felt so happy at the period jus before the competition ...
haha ... hope somehow ... things might have a better changes after u are free from training ... haha

wo de xin li zhi you ni ...

tots and feelings

haha dun know how mnay ppl get to read my last post before i edit it ...
think and hope onli my mei is then first and last to see haha

a bad things la so dun mention haha

hai yesterday also suai ...
morning go qing ming then so bloody hot and the jam sucks ...
i tan till my arms all red ...
wtf i hate to get tan unevenly ...
hai then nvm ... pray till so late then went to shi fu hse to eat
haha that few hour is veri fun ...

then went to training ...
got to add on my dui lian de movement haha
not bad la need more practise ...
then suai thing comes
after training ... i again forget to get the plastic bag my jiu mu pass to me to bring home .. wad the fuck ..
i came home then remember i forget
i so depress ... hai ... sat in the bathroom cool down and think ...
why i so fuck up ... hai ...
worst thing is i came up wif a story ...
i lie is to prevent another world war wif my mum ...
good or bad i dun know ...
hard to judge ...
i remember tang san zhang say u lie if is to prevent bad things and to cre8 peace why not
but also buddha teach ppl dun lie must be honest and must admit ur own mistake ... hai ...
i last time also happen once i admit in the end ... world war esp my mum fuking bitch attitude ... she has a damn bad attitude towards ppl ...
abit she not happy she show face and kpkb ... snook ppl here and there
never even spare a thought for other feeling ...

got once i tell her u got spare a tot for y feeling how i feel anot ..
wtf she actually reply ..
then hu spare a tot for me ...
tmd u are a mum i am a kid at tht time ...
wtf is this how u become a mum ... ccb
u are a libra u need balance i dun mind ...
but fuk u need to balance my age and ur age ... ccb ...

fuk up mum hu always seems to know everything ... and think wad ever she guess is cfm correct ...

and also u cannot tell her somethings interesting that happen in ur life
cos a happy matter u wish to share to ppl ...
she cfm make it ugly to u ...
everytime ...

sometimes is not i dun wish to be close to my parent or silblings ...
parent is cos or mum attitude ...
then dad is when cos of mum they qurrall then always i am the victim ... dad use me as his chu qi tong ... a barrel to blow out his anger ...
i may be use to it but is still abit unfair to me ...
i maybe a person who get hot headed easily and i can also get cool head easily also ... i may be a person that can forget bad stuff easily but some things is still visible to the eyes ...

as for bro ... cos of age gap and also last time i small in size ...
he also bully me violently ...
i wont forget ..
i now can fight back against him but i choose not la ...
hai yo ... troublesome .. lazy ...
no such need ...
then cos of age gap and last time a few incident then we hardly communicate ..
or rather nth to talk abt ...
i don step into ur life u dun step into mine ...
if u step into mine i make sure u will get ugly scene from me ...

haha lol ... haha everyone got the like and dislike of their family ...
i dislike each of my family member .. i onli like this family ... cos it brings me up to who i am now ... haha ... dun know la end here tml got exam ... hai ...
wait one more things ...

haha i wish to tell the m0onz sth ...
maybe not time yet ...
or rather no chance ...
is time for me to get handsome ... dude ...

posting as and when i like unless got special request

haha post is deleted ... haha ...

dun feel like showing ... maybe not time
or rather wrong time ...

haha ... hehe ... wil post more ...

smily ...