A Story of a Sheep

Bahhhhhhh

thats wad a sheep would say ...

here is a story of a lost sheep ...

once upon a time there is a sheep lost from his grp ..
he walk further and further from his grp ...
he was sad at first but slowly got use to it ...
then he met a saviour that he feel will bring him back to his grp ...
or bring him to join a new grp ...
so he follow the saviour footstep ... followed behind her ...
but the saviour suddenly disappear out of no wher cos the saviour's god don
allow a lost sheep to follow the saviour ... but the saviour feel no good ...
felt alot of things ... then the saviour went back to find the sheep ...
there .... when to sheep saw the saviour he was delighted ...
again the sheep followed the footstep again ...
as they walk and walk and walk ... the saviour dun wanna help this sheep anymore ...
cos the saviour felt nth for this sheep why shld the sheep worth the saviours help .
he disappear again ...
poor sheep ... back to square one twice ... but standing on a different ground ...
having learn how to keep his emotion ... the sheep ... sat there ... watch the heaven ... look down on earth and ask o grandfather ... o grandfather is the time ... every step he run on a stairs is every sec pass on earth ...
the sheep ask ... y are u running so slow ...

the sheep was sad ... he know that the saviour most probably will not come back ...
but he still pinning on a little hope on the saviour ... but he also knew ... he will fall greater the more he hope ...

he hid his feeling ... he didnt cried as much as the first time ...
he learn how to control ... but yet ... he feels the pain ...

a piece of broken heart breaking another time ...

twice ... twice in my life i didnt manage to let my blog lives ...
wad is the meaning of me blogging again ... for me , the sheep , or for the saviour ...

i don know ... i onli know ... god played me a fool on myself ...
god make me realise how weak and vulnerable i am ...
but yet i chose to believe i will not be hurt as i grow stronger ...
i chose to believe in a truth that i grow stronger to be broken into even smaller pieces ...

how i wish this is a dream ...
when i wake up i will sit on the dinning table eating breakfast and telling everybody that i had the strangest dream in my life ...

maybe a coma will be good for me now ...
ppl always say ... when a person in coma ... is he choose to wake up or not ...
as for me ... i will choose to slp ... cos i don dare to face the fact that how would i face myself ... the saviour and the world ... ...

i am a aqurian fish lost in the big ocean ...

i don wish to post this up ... wish for myself to read ... but yet ...
i don know la ... god damn it ... i don know la ... i wanna hide ...
probably in the darkest corner of the world ... wher on one will see me ...
then i will not affect anyone and no one will affect me ...

how can i learn to let my hand open to let go ...
cant ... can i ... i don feel like but i think time will tells
maybe time will call big guys to free my hand ...
maybe time will shut my hand up tight ...

maybe maybe ... since small i hate the word maybe
ru guo ru guo since small i realli hater the word ru guo ...

i always say ru guo mei you ru guo ....

arghs ... i don know la ... can i kill myself ... god ...