Welcome to me Diary

niece

2006-03-21T07:46:00.000-08:00

kk there is problem uploading my niece pic ... i will try again tml
keep up wif my posting hur ... will show u one wif the eyes open de haha

feel like writing

2006-03-18T20:05:00.000-08:00

haha was listening the got beer bottle to sell ( in dialet) was a very old song ... writen base on a true story ...

haha ooo ya recently i got to know of sth ... when u pray for sth... there is a price to pay ... yes haha whenever i pray for others i will say let the bad things let me take ... haha then rcently i hear when u pray for sth .. there is a price to pay ... if u are able to take it then ur prayers will come true ...

is pass already la ... i already pay the price of my prayers ... and got my prayers answer ... my prayers is not for me la hehe ... lol haha ...

hmm hai sian gtg out soon le ... see my niece ... hehe ... kk bb

yos yos

2006-03-18T08:49:00.000-08:00

life after poly has made a great turn...

never tot my poly life will end in hospital and also with a sad ending

haha abit expected and yet unexpected la ...

ya but sometimes in life is like this la ...

for her i choose to let go ... so she wont be feeling terrible ...

althought i did lots too but is ok la ... sometimes things are never seens as wad it
is ...

i understand my own life la ...

i am not a selfish person. i will rather let myself suffer so as to help others and let them be better la ...

ppl say me ... i should not gif up ... but i told them ... is ok la ... it will be better for her this way ...

Haha to those ppl who will say bad things behind me ...
i am not trying to be great ... dun comment abt my action ...
i am doing it not for u all to see ... i am doing this for her and myself ...
so i dun wish to hear bad mouthing behind me ... if yes i will be very upset and disappointed and if i know who i will make sure he or she regret saying that.

haha lol ... ya been very busy this few days ... helping alot of kids to get better in their wushu. so ya i got time to come here write hur is a miralce ... cos now i also very tired le ...

kk i need ta slp la ...
write till here ...

pls sms me more when u guys are free ... at certain times i am rather bored ...
so ya keep in touch ...

signing off

In Life Things Doesnt Go In Your Way
Things Dont Are Not Seen Or Appreciated
But Dun Be Sad Cos At Least You Have Done Your Part
You Have Given Out Your True Heart.
And Thats Matters And Not The Concious Of The Heart That Matters.
But For The Sake Of My Love To Be Less Terrible.
I Rather Choose To Let Go Althought Is Abit Unbearable.
But Thats Being Understanding.
But That Is Why Some People, Problem Come When One Is Being Too Understanding.
Haha Life Is Full Of Everything, No Right Or Wrong.
In The Game Rules Apply, If You Insist To Play On The One Suffering Might Be The Prize You Fighting For.

okok really tired le ... need to slp ... night all

sick sick sick

2006-03-05T02:53:00.000-08:00

on friday when office i already start to feel no good le ... then that to feel very cold .. haha use clothes to cover myself .. legs tuck in shiver for dun know how long then decide to take half day leave to see doc ...
see le doc eat le med ... ooo it was 39 degree super high ... haha

then eat 2 time med le ... feel alot better but at night when slp hur omg fever go back to 39 again ... and maybe higher cannot slp man ... haha lol

then sat the next day drink this drink that drink alot alot alot alot of different stuff all no use ... until at night drink dun know wad herbal tea ... then at night slp hey the fever go down le ... then i went to drink another time ... haha vomited ... haha lol ... then got urine more and shit also ...remove heat ma ...
then sunday feel alot more better juss the shoulder nexk body like tied up like that ... that dad use dun know wad massage ... then feel better le ... haha lol ...
hope will get well better soon la ... haha

growing up

2006-02-28T19:27:00.000-08:00

haha no idea of how to write la ... so came up with a topic and relate it to life ...

haha lol ... life is
cryable
laughable
speakable
unspeakable
simple
complicated ...

haha wad i am trying to say is life is everything we can ever think of ...

haha lol hmm my life been thru loads of ups and downs ...
i understand wad it is trying to say ..

like when i meet a failure
e.g. last time in relationship ...

i will tell me self ... it happen for a reason ... i will find out that reason and make sure it don happen again ..
some ppl will say fate or god make this happen blah blah ... but one thing most impt is learn from it ... that is why god and fate gave u this lesson to learn ... if u dun learn it will gif u the same lesson again haha lol

true ???

haha in life we must be satisfied with wad we had ...

if it is of a material gain of cos we must go for the better when it is within our capablilies after planning for the future ...
if is related to the heart matters ...

be satisfied with wad u had ...be happy with wad u had ...
be satisfied that u had someone that love u ...
and stay with them ... and in return they will do the same ... only if they understand ...

if u see one better then go for another ... u will end up nothing ... emptyiness

e.g. of a story

a teacher with a student ...
the teacher ask the student to walk from on end of the field to another and cannot walk back ...
when walking ... pluck only 3 beautiful grass to gif her ...
then student walk ... and pluck
and gave to her teacher 3 normal grass
the teacher ask ... is that the most beautiful ...
the student say no ... before that he sees more beautiful one ...
but he thinks that there will be better ahead so he din pluck and walk on
and when he is reaching near end of the field he has no choice but to pluck the best he sees ...

understand ???

i related to life ...
when we are young(start of the field)
there are alot of choices of gf and wife ...
when we had them ... we always think there is better one more prettier one ... more loving one coming into my life ... then we neglect the current one ... or lost interest ...
then we always expect the better and not treasuring the current ..
when we are getting older and older(walking towards the end of field)
your choices gets lesser and lesser cos less attractive or wadever reason u can think of ...

then that time u will regret ... ai ya should have stayed wif her and treasure her ... and that time u will regret ...

i always treasure wad i hold most dearest to me ...
but always is wad most dearest to me abandon me for the better ...
but i believe in this one .. she different she is not like others ... sth different unique and of cos special abt her ... unexplainable in words ... in chi is call
qi zhi
yeah yeah ...

haha ooo ya my story doesnt mean u cannot go for the better ... of cos there are certain case ... like in some r/s ppl found someone better and will uphold this treasuring belief ... of cos this new couple will be better then the old one ...

yeah ... is always balancing the pros and cons ...

dream

2006-02-26T08:01:00.000-08:00

today my topic today is dream

dream represent a few things
the greated desire or the darkest fear in that personm
or it can be a forsee or it is jus a dream or is a way to communicate wif the other world

haha

last night i had a dream ...

one that reside in my darkest fear even me myself wont not want to touch or think abt it

and it did happen in my dream ... haha in that moment i never knew i was dreaming ...
it look so so real ... it look as if ... it all happen ...

then i woke up ... phew ...
but the worst came ...
i fell back to slp and continue to dream of it again ... and in my sub conscious i have know i was dreaming jus now and i had woke up ... in my brain is i had woke up ... i so so so fear cos my brain told me it was true ... real life ...

i become so afraid and sad ... but lucky i din cry ... my courage was still there ...
brave ...

haha poof i woke up ...
once again i quickly hid this dark fear in me ... and i never want it to happen to me ... never ... pls never

haha kk next one ...
when i was a kid ...
i dreamt of being time to a cross ... christian those cross ... i was tie up very very high in the air ... in a dessert ...

then came a oshride(dun know how to spell la) then brid that dun know how to fly and lay big egg de ...
it came holding a big hammer ... omg their wing got hand de ...
when i want to smash me ... then string tie on my 4 limbs ... loosen then i drop onto the fall and i starting to run ... thne the bird came running at me and smash the hammer at me onto the floor cos it miss me ... thne i jus run ... then suddenly whne i turn my head ard it disappeared ... then i still keep on running ... then when i turn again ... i saw a troop of orc take hammer and run towards me at full forcce ... then when it reaching me i woke up ...

haha i have check ... dream of a holy cross of jesus ... u are like someone or wadever la ... special ... maybe i am a holy man ... come down to earth to bring good to the beings ... haha lol joking ... but who will know haha lol ... cos it might be a communication way ...

haha ooo i have dreamt of the future also ... pls ... is true. ... not one time ... but a few times ... but now grow up le ... dun have ...

then i check before how dream happen ... the human body ... how it cos the ghost press body effect ... and blah blah ... at a certain point of view ... u will also understand chinese point of view abt those dream from dead or godly ppl ... and other religion belief also ... hahah

ooo for the darkest fear thing i think i will not reveal to anyone ... cos it is really really my darkest fear ... haha ...y

somewad someway someday

2006-02-22T18:44:00.000-08:00

haha cant tot of how to start this post ...

been rather ups and downs
angry sad happy mad fun confuse thoughful this few days

ooo ya share this wif u guy ...

have u ever been in a situation where u are very very afraid of losing
sth u jus got or sth u yet complete got it

abit like company buying company in the market ...

haha haven any of u been in this situation ...

it is fear that struck your deep heart ...
right haha lol ...

then here comes the next part ...
think back think think back on the prev days or wad ...
think on the words action the process the movement on everything
and determine wad are the possibilities of losing
then tell urself wad are the result u expected ...

haha life is funny ... it has been systematic but yet unpredictable ...
haha ironic right ... but this is true ...
i list u an e.g.
in life we got to go thru brith growing working sickness dying
is systemic
wads unpredictable is the process ... changes is everywhere anywhere ...
then most impt thing is to know wad has been truely presented to u ... identify it and treasure it ...
if it is a person let that person know he/she is treasure ...
if is not a human that keep it safe and sound and well cared haha like my bear bear err teng

haha ...
i always told myself
kibou dakeha shinjite
believe in hope ...
there is always miracle
so have faith in urself ...
haha this was partly taught in sch also ...
my sec sch damai motto
faith hope charity
have faith
believe in hope ...

it really touches my heart ...
it is jus like e.g. from my own words and heart
i have faith in *u*
i hope for tml to be even better ...
i have faith in ur return to me
i hope for the return to be even sweeter ... haha

yeah yeah kk i write till here ba i go toilet

another another day

2006-02-20T17:46:00.000-08:00

haha lol start from weekend ba ... things seems normal ..
stuff happens ... haha which show wad type of person this person is ...

haha very lazy to write la ...

haha on monday morning got blues ... haha then afternoon went chinatown for lunch ...
haha bought the tea leave egg ... wow super duper nice man haha
then reach office haha answer a few qns which i been waiting ... cos i know
it is needed to break thru the first barrier ... yeah so is done and down ...
time will take its way and form and shape it ...

i truely believe and wanted ...

nth really much to write abt la ... hmm
probably
Ai Ni Yi Wan Nian
Love You 10000 Years

haha another day

2006-02-16T01:43:00.000-08:00

haha yesterday was on leave thats why nth to blog hur ... haha morning was fixing com ... wa miracle manage to fixed it ...reformat it le haha lol

then afternoon go sch train ... haha was a good session then night got teaching ... not a bad day la ...then went amk central eat with master ... then tok tok chat chat abt the thai trip on 27 april ... yeah i am going ... wahaha happy leh ...

then today was late abit la but dun care la ... then do nth for whole day haha lol ooo ya i done a msn master piece
u all wan u can copy but please dun say is u do de ... is my work ok

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when it come out it will be i love you ... haha ... can go try it haha lol ...
copyrighted hur hur ... haha i still got more masterpiece haha i dun wanna share le ... hehe

roses roses in v day

2006-02-13T21:51:00.000-08:00

haha see those roses i made haha 99 of them
hehe for someone special ... for the one la
haha i try put in box. .. and is very beautiful when see with real eyes not the pic ...
the pic alright only ... haha lol

yeah yeah ... my heart work ... haha lol ...

today should be happy day ... but hur ...
things happen at work hur made me unhappy ... haha sadded ... hai ...
nvm la dun say le ... hehe

3 2 1
*** *** ****

monday blues

2006-02-12T23:23:00.000-08:00

haha today is monday again ... haha yeah but soon i will be able to leave this working place for good haha lol ... hehe me hur ...
haha now finish work and doing nth ... haha

ooo ya gd news. .. jus came 2 buz student from nyp also yeah yeah ... they will be doing CT leave with me too haha wahah ... so so good hehe yeah ...

me start from sat ... sat morning and afternoon went to teach wushu haha then went home bath then 6pm went to ha hi hu ,,, haha training wushu la ...
then after that went to bugis to eat ajisen haha went to the high class area ... super shoik man ... haha lol ... then after that went master house play monopoly ... haha damn fun man ...
haha i should be the winner de ... but dan no ppl step into my place ... if not wad they going to pay me will str make them bankrupt haha lol ...

hai then end up i am the ultimate loser haha lol diao ... haha ...
hmm ya then sunday morning str go performa the go home bath the go throw veg lau yu shen
haha then went teaching then home slp ... haha
sound so bored hor ... hahab but at least time pass fast leh ...

ooo ya today saw yee teng de pic ... wa kan cute haha lol ...
hehe make her so ps haha cos that one not meant for ppl to see de ... haha lol ... diao ...
but shes pretty cute adorable ... ok .... hehe

tests

2006-02-08T23:57:00.000-08:00

My test abt me ... i did this 3 test ... feel free to read up abt me hur hur

Your IQ score is 117. This means that you are smarter than 87.0% of all other Super IQ test takers.

This number is the result of a scientifically-tested formula based on how many questions you answered correctly on the Tickle Super IQ Test.

But there's more to intelligence than a single number, a single score, or a single label. Tickle uses 8 distinguishable dimensions of intelligence in the Super IQ Test. By analyzing your individual scores on those 8 scales, we are able to look beyond the raw IQ score into how you process information, and which intellectual strengths you're best at.

Your test results indicate that the way you process information makes you a Conceptual Synthesizer.

You are very skilled at divining the real truth in any situation. You can easily read between the lines and understand exactly what's going on. When learning something new, you easily grasp the underlying concept. You absorb the basic content, filter out the unimportant information, and then focus on what really matters. You never get distracted by tangential points or irrelevant facts.

This acute focus makes you very adept at filtering out the 'noise'. Most people are not capable in this way — they focus on the specific words or numbers being used and can get bogged down. Your mind is less likely to pick up particular vocabulary words or remember mathematical equations, but you understand the essential gist of any situation.

Here's an example of your Conceptual Synthesizer thinking skills at work in a real-life situation:

You are out with a group of people who are talking about a book that you've not read. They are exploring details about the plot, and discussing the elegance of the writing. What you hear loud and clear are the main themes of the story (the romance, the influence of the grandfather, and the predominance of food). At the end of the discussion you tell them you can guess how the book ends, and it turns out, you are right! This is because you were able to pick up on the most important information from their talk as well as glean the general mood of the book and these insights led you to your conclusion. Thank goodness you think the way you do!

My Love Test

G, when you're in love, you're a Steady Mate. Approximately 14% of people share this type with you. What does this title say about you? Read on to find out.

You're the kind of romantic partner that others will want to lean on in times of distress. This is true because your logical mind allows you to remain cool-headed during a crisis. This quality can make you seem a bit heroic at times. And for that reason, people who value your calm, rational nature will make a great match for you and steady mates like you.

You need someone who won't expect you to be overly softhearted or to express your feelings all the time. They should know that just because you don't always express the emotions you're having, it doesn't mean that you don't care. On the contrary, you're someone who will always value the quality of the connections between you and the people you care about. Because of this fact, it will be important for you to find a romantic partner who knows how to care about a relationship and put some effort into it. Once you find a person like that, the two of you can live life to the fullest.

communication test

when talking to your partner, you're a Diplomat.

This means that you tend to be a cooperative partner with first-rate listening and negotiation skills. Above all, you seem to try to keep the lines of communication open between you and your significant other. In your mind, it's usually far better to talk about problems as they arise rather than sweep them under the rug. For you to really feel connected to your special someone, it's important that they hear and understand you. Ordinarily, you'll return this courtesy tenfold by paying close attention to your partner's perspective.

out field

2006-02-08T18:56:00.000-08:00

yeah my first outfield task ... will be out of office ...
happy ... haha no more bored office work ... haha lol
but hor also means that cannot msn and chat chat ...
then someone sure will bored bored de ... haha lol

hmm hai ...

haha someone hur cook sotong ... cook till the so nice and smell so good that the
fire the flame also wanna eat sotong ...
lucky the flame never burn her ... if not hur
i will shoot water over to india haha ... and teach the fire a lesson hehe

ar hur ar hur

ooo ya me yesterday on leave ... shoik man ... i feel good ... but i make someone so bored ... haha lol is ok la .... hehe

ooo ya i 27 april should be going to thailand and will be back on 1 may ... hopefully
i still not enlist yet hur ... haha

wish me luck that i can go have fun hur ... haha
haha yeah yeah ...
today i feel abit lost in the office ... like dun know wad to do ... or rather
dun feel like thinking and do stuff ... haha lol ... abit sianned ... haha lol

okok la ... dun write le ... take care all esp those in india ... bao zhong ...

wahaha pic taking session ... who wanna take wif me

2006-02-07T01:05:00.000-08:00

My picture taking session wif bear bear err teng hehe ... enjoy ...

yoyo

2006-02-05T22:46:00.000-08:00

irritated by this guy since start of attachment ... keep using the office phone secretly and mumble indian ... !@#$%^&&* thats wad i heard

sit so close to me also ... make me blast my ear piece .. haha

lol okok

now is me le ...

haha act cool hur hur

haha 007 piang piang

omg wad is this ... i look so yucky ... eee
haha lol

today still not bad la ... do nth again since morning ...
haha then saw the pic taken by yee teng in india .. haha ...
haha her work space also nearly same as mine ... uluu de
i got come or not also no ppl know ... haha lol ...

hai ...okok la write till here la ... if got more later then write ..

that day blogspot server down. so now post.

2006-02-05T17:37:00.000-08:00

this is wher i sit ... omg man ... at the corner haha

hai ... write song poemtic song

cant get any ...
dun have the atmosphere and mood ...

probably one

facing the 2 big walls
listening to the rotting music
looking at the lousy grade i received for my effort put in for them
i slacken ... whole day do s*** for them ...
haha sit here whole day get 20 plus dollar ... i rather go out teach wushu ...
my own class ... one lesson 1.5 or 2 hours ... got more then 20$ more student more income ... wth
over here 10hours 20 plus dollar... kao cheap labour ...
slap their face ...
over here same imcome more stress and long faces ...
diao .. haha lol ... wad a song i wrote ... is not a song anymore or rather a complain ... haha lol ...
at least the seat i chose is good for sleeping ... haha ... and got internet access .. if not rot like hell man ... haha lol ...

jus now went blog surfing ... haha saw the yiwei name ... kind of miss this name ...
haha dun anyhow think hur ...
jus super long time no see her since last saw at amk central

wonder how is she ... haha
but hur her blog ... need password ...
lol ... funny man ... but a good idea la ...
privacy

haha ... hai ... still got 45 mins more to rot ...

haha hungry also ...

sianism

xue3 di4 yu4 bloody hell
shen2 shen4 de4 da4 bian4 holy shit
haha lol

hehe good buaix

Reviving

2006-02-02T18:46:00.000-08:00

wahaha lol this is miracle
i writing blog again ...
cos really tired of this attachment working life...
i do so well and good for them and they actually gave me this grade ...
alamak man ...

hai ... wad to write hur ..
haha maybe nth much la ... will try to post pic ba ... haha lol ...
haha yeah see ba ..
a heart made out of 10$ double heart ... haha

the rose i trying to make till 99 of them

omg wad am i doing

hey ppl this is err teng below ... cute hor

say hihi to err teng

haha theres more to come

she is trying to climb on my pillow and slp wif me hehe

shy hi

lady sitting

so sloppy

angry mother hur ... hehe

say yos to her haha

oops ... talk no evil

see no evil

hear no evil

smell no evil

spilt leg man ... weuuu weee

hand stand hur oops head stand ... hand too short

slp slp

wahaha my hair band is not ur bolster

life is so funny

2005-09-01T01:05:00.000-07:00

life is so funny ... full of mystery ...
full of surprises
haha lol ...
no one knows wad lies ahead of them...
when the maple leafs fall ...
time doesnt stop ...
hope never fade ...
most impt ...
my passion never dies ...
dun be afraid of obstacles ...
but who can really do it ...
everyone can ...
yeah ... is jus the matter of how well u do it ...
how long u take ...
now matter how long or short ... if is successful ...
it is still a success story ...
in my life there is so many things we fail to see and treasure ...
haha growing up ... maturity matters everything ...
sometimes i dun realli bother or care ...
cos that sometimes i kan de kai mean i dun really take it to heart ...
when u start to grow older ... ur thinking grows .. is jus how much u expose urself to understand the world and yourself ...
how well u let urself see wads in front of u ...
dun jus complain abt this and that ... whos fault shall we put ..
think of how to solve it ...
:) zafey hope u read this ... haha ...

one will fail if he fail to plan
he will fail unless he plan to fail ...

when the maple leafs fall ... wad will you do ???

to think i will still blog

2005-07-27T08:53:00.000-07:00

wahahahahaha

this is so funny ... to think i will still come back blog ... haha

dun worry althought is the same situation as last time but my feeling now is totally different

haha funny ... stephanie actually found my blog in yahoo ... first one somemore then coincidentally jolyn's was below me ... wahaha so funny hor haha

haha went to read the posting i had written felt childish la u see ...

hai ...maybe grown up la ... cos i realise i had grown mature quite alot since year 1 and 2 till now year 3 ... cos alot of stuff had happen and make me realise i need to grow to handle it ... hmm okok la ... nth much to realli say abt too ...

ooo ya ... huan yuet i finally update my blog le haha ...

5 days of com has pass

2005-04-23T00:55:00.000-07:00

hai ... am i that least noticed and remembered
or that period has gone ...
totally into ur happiness ...

haha lol ... or maybe i was first wrong abt myself ...

somehow i felt u know my feelings ...
somehow u make me felt that u have no feelings for me ...

haha ... maybe i wasnt able to attract attentation ...
haha ... no look no built haha ...

haha lol ...

hai ... sometimes i realli miss those feelings where u can hug someone u like or love so tight ... and those warm those assurance from those hug ...
haha ... longing for it ...

haha hai ...
i always look for someone i could consult to ...
a veri personalised person ...
jus meant for me ...
but always end up ... i am talking to my mei ...
not that she is my back up ...
is that i know she is always there for me ...
haha ... but still she is my mei not some one specially meant for me ...
i look up in the sky at night ...
i saw that a full mo0nz
then a few days i saw a crescent ...
then a few days later gone then
a few days later back as a crescent
then exactly after one month back as full moon ...
is ur attention and feeling and attraction for me is like that changing ...
the changing moon ...
i look up into the sky ... how i wish i could be the star right beside to accompany u ...
but somehow ... u not always there ...sometimes u move further also .. sometimes closer ...

haha ...

i am most willingly to be the person to enbrace u in my hug ...
haha ...

yes i would ...
but now i am realli lost ... i dun know wher to start to get closer to u again ...
lost in the night sky ... i dun seem to be able to see u ...
but i know i will get to see u veri soon ...

haha maybe dan lian is so tong ku ba ...
i am of tree element by chinese theory
the moon is my light at night ... without u i am jus another usless tree giving out carbon dioxide ... waiting there to die ...
for u i am willing to gif u nearly everything ...
i know that since the day when i first gave u morning call ...

i realli felt so happy at the period jus before the competition ...
haha ... hope somehow ... things might have a better changes after u are free from training ... haha

wo de xin li zhi you ni ...

tots and feelings

2005-04-11T11:23:00.000-07:00

haha dun know how mnay ppl get to read my last post before i edit it ...
think and hope onli my mei is then first and last to see haha

a bad things la so dun mention haha

hai yesterday also suai ...
morning go qing ming then so bloody hot and the jam sucks ...
i tan till my arms all red ...
wtf i hate to get tan unevenly ...
hai then nvm ... pray till so late then went to shi fu hse to eat
haha that few hour is veri fun ...

then went to training ...
got to add on my dui lian de movement haha
not bad la need more practise ...
then suai thing comes
after training ... i again forget to get the plastic bag my jiu mu pass to me to bring home .. wad the fuck ..
i came home then remember i forget
i so depress ... hai ... sat in the bathroom cool down and think ...
why i so fuck up ... hai ...
worst thing is i came up wif a story ...
i lie is to prevent another world war wif my mum ...
good or bad i dun know ...
hard to judge ...
i remember tang san zhang say u lie if is to prevent bad things and to cre8 peace why not
but also buddha teach ppl dun lie must be honest and must admit ur own mistake ... hai ...
i last time also happen once i admit in the end ... world war esp my mum fuking bitch attitude ... she has a damn bad attitude towards ppl ...
abit she not happy she show face and kpkb ... snook ppl here and there
never even spare a thought for other feeling ...

got once i tell her u got spare a tot for y feeling how i feel anot ..
wtf she actually reply ..
then hu spare a tot for me ...
tmd u are a mum i am a kid at tht time ...
wtf is this how u become a mum ... ccb
u are a libra u need balance i dun mind ...
but fuk u need to balance my age and ur age ... ccb ...

fuk up mum hu always seems to know everything ... and think wad ever she guess is cfm correct ...

and also u cannot tell her somethings interesting that happen in ur life
cos a happy matter u wish to share to ppl ...
she cfm make it ugly to u ...
everytime ...

sometimes is not i dun wish to be close to my parent or silblings ...
parent is cos or mum attitude ...
then dad is when cos of mum they qurrall then always i am the victim ... dad use me as his chu qi tong ... a barrel to blow out his anger ...
i may be use to it but is still abit unfair to me ...
i maybe a person who get hot headed easily and i can also get cool head easily also ... i may be a person that can forget bad stuff easily but some things is still visible to the eyes ...

as for bro ... cos of age gap and also last time i small in size ...
he also bully me violently ...
i wont forget ..
i now can fight back against him but i choose not la ...
hai yo ... troublesome .. lazy ...
no such need ...
then cos of age gap and last time a few incident then we hardly communicate ..
or rather nth to talk abt ...
i don step into ur life u dun step into mine ...
if u step into mine i make sure u will get ugly scene from me ...

haha lol ... haha everyone got the like and dislike of their family ...
i dislike each of my family member .. i onli like this family ... cos it brings me up to who i am now ... haha ... dun know la end here tml got exam ... hai ...
wait one more things ...

haha i wish to tell the m0onz sth ...
maybe not time yet ...
or rather no chance ...
is time for me to get handsome ... dude ...

posting as and when i like unless got special request

2005-04-04T20:52:00.000-07:00

haha post is deleted ... haha ...

dun feel like showing ... maybe not time
or rather wrong time ...

haha ... hehe ... wil post more ...

smily ...

For My Class

2005-03-01T21:30:00.000-08:00

In Life .. One Got To Consider Wad Is Right Wad Is Wrong ...
But the very fact is ... hu is there to define wad thing to do then is right ...
wad thing to do then is consider wrong ...
there is no way ...
every success ... no matter by way method ... a veri bastard method or a veri tactful method ... is still success ...

i wont judge hu is right here ...

cos ... everyone has their view of life ...
everyone has their own set of rules to follow ...
the rules also can be rated like ...
these rules more impt to follow ....
those rules less impt to follow usually is forgotten ...
everyone has their own perspective and view on others ...
everyone see different result of the "road" that a person is walking on now ...
but one got to realise that ... when they themself are walking ...
then cant see the big picture they onli saw themself wad they want ...
everyone has their own way to satisfy themself ...

Sry to say ... i didnt meant to any ppl for those content i say below ...

some ppl taste love ... they like it they go for it ...
they know they want it ... they will get it no matter wad ...
this is the road they chose ...
no matter wad they wont regret if they actually got wad they want ... happiness ...
i may not be veri experience ...
but maybe jus that i came to know alot of things regrading these areas ..

i saw ppl hu went after wad they want ...
they fail ... and "lost"
they regretted ...

i also sae ppl hu went after it ... they gave everything ...
but they got wad they want ... the love they yean for ...
happiness from it is wad they want(disregrading of the problems after that ...)

so lets go back to the qns ...
hu is right and hu is wrong ...

haha shifu once told me alot of these theories ...
i learn how to stand in the center and see things ...
regrading to the event happen 1 year back ...

maybe for myself being selfish ... i say i am right ... but i am wrong at saying it out esp in the wrong manner ...

k now lets talk abt friends ...
buddies ... wad is buddy ...

i understand this best ...
buddy is one hu wont ask another to go bad things for them ...
buddy is one hu will remind the other one when he or she is seen walking on the wrong "road"(the road that the buddy think is wrong) ...
but of cos he need ta explain why is this road is wrong ...

maybe for u jo ... like i say before ... i dun mean ur road u chose is wrong is not right either ...
but rather is ur choice ... the life u want ...
i more or less understand the life u want ...
sch is sth boring or usless shiit to me ...
if not for parent i would rather not study ...

from my point of view i saw few possible result of ur road ...
i know wad u going after ... i want that too ...
maybe u can say i hum ji ba ...
or maybe i shld say i am a guy and not a girl ... a man hu want to make lots of money to support my wife and kids wif comfortable cosy home ...

i afraid of losing ... losing track of wad i want ...
wad i can say here is do wadever u wanna do ...
i wont discourage u or encourage this time ...
cos ... u are u .. me is me ...
u pace ur life urself and no one ...
as for the comments the rest had made ...
is jus base on the fact that they are not u not a sagi i shld say ...
they are using the thinking of themself wad shld it be like in a sch and imply to u ...
dun say anything or yuan abt their comments ...
in real life schooling is not the onli way to get rich and get happiness ..
but at least they say is right ...
the rules are sth u shld follow if u choose to in it ...
u shld be able to sense that it has been a long time since i last ask abt ur life and realli comment(expect for jas that time that i think i realli shld say wad i wanna say) ...
cos i sense u going another path ...
haha dun get me wrong ... i not saying u are wrong ...
jus that i felt i dun know enuff of wad ya doing on that road ...
and i too lazy to bother ...
bother my own stuff is enuff ...
but now has come to this stage ...
i feel i shld comment sth also ... not that i wanna be middle man ...
is jus as someone standing outside i try to digest and understand ...
they logically i came to this conclusion ...

haha ... u shld be glad that u had these friends hu realli care ... or i shld say care for u in another way ...
now i shld say is now u once had these good friends ... cos ... they wont be commenting much on u now esp when we see u less understand u less ...
like i say before buddy is one hu understand ... in order to understand one has to communicate ...
our communication seem to be getting lesser lesser ...
haha sry to say these i know it may hurt u ... but dun worry i am also the same ...
when ever someone we love appears ... we tend to stick more to them and leave friend behind ... this is when the gap b/w friend widen and misunderstandings like these happens ...
if u communicate more wif us ... maybe .. maybe these stuff wont have not happen ...
is no ones fault that there is lesser communication ... but jus ... is life thats the way it is ... theres ups there is sure to be downs ...

haha i guess i shld say enuff ...
i hope everythings shld end here ... even if i say sth u feel is veri wrong ...
i am sry ...
but jus suan le ...
suan le mean forget everythings ...
dun talk abt it again ... ever ...

that is me ... when i say suan le jus dun mention ... i will forget it ... if u mention i will box u ... haha i told that to her chuan before haha ... lol
muahaha

okok i type eunff ... will let u all read ...

so long .. so many things ...

2005-02-27T23:46:00.000-08:00

how long has it been since i last post ...
i actually tot of not posting liao ... but dun know why after reading xanga ... i suddenly wanna post again ...
within these period of time since i last post .. alot of things had happen ...
sad happy nervour exciting stuff has happen ...
i see ppl ard me sad ... unhappy ... esp ppl i realli care abt ...
i will feel for them too ... esp ... the o lvl result coming out on monday ...
it may not directly concern me ... but after 2 years of graduation ... now it actually concern me ... cos it matters alot to "u" ...

i still remember the day before i went to take my o lvl result .. i wasnt even nervous abt it ... onli until the actual day on the spot where i queue for my result then my heart has pumping veri fast ...

right now for u ...
i dun know wad i shld say to make u feel better ...
i did wad i think i could ... if anything i could do .. pls let me know ...
cos i care ...
but i guess right now all u need is peace and a clear mind ...

i pray i hope i beg to god in place of u .. that u will have good result ...

may my prayers be heard ...

a post a month

2005-01-09T11:32:00.000-08:00

thats wad i have done ... a post a month haha lol ...

alot of things had happen in this one month like chalet ...
rashes from drinking beer haha
tiger beer haha ...

then ... sch reopen things ...
wadeva shiit that is ... then

then also dun know la ...
simply dun wanna blog ... haha ... wads there to blog abt ... sian

hai ... life sux ...
simple love my jay was nice ...
i wanna find the lyrics ... muahaha ...

loong looong time no post

2004-12-06T20:06:00.000-08:00

wahha i am back ... hah lol ...
wif alot of things to say ...

first ... on ... erm ... friday ...
morning went to compass point mrt fetch mei mei cheryl then go ps eat ajisan then go nyp see see walk walk find teacher then go drving center wanna reg but knn so long forget it ... then go back ps ... mei mei went home ...
then

meet up wif huan yue ... wahha ...
haha chio bu ...
to me la ...

haha ...
like this type of girls ... oops ...

sa la cannot say out ... haha ...

then see see .. shutter haha lol nice nice ...
haha lol ... then went home slp ...

i say story not nice de haha ..

then
next day morning went to work ...
from 930
till 5
go perform
then at 1230 midnight work again till 12 noon ... haha one whole round ... actually is till midnight again de ... haha

then reach home slp awhile sian ... go to go out for performance again ... haha ...

a total of 4 performance haha and 20 hrs of work ... got ard 300 dollars like that haha lol ...haha ...
good money right ... haha lol ...

gonna save it also haha ...

hmm ... then nth much to say liao also ...

wanna say ... i already long time no go see ppls blog haha maybe later go see see cos i busy wif work and most of all GAME ... haha lol

7 days ...

2004-12-01T12:21:00.000-08:00

7 days ...
7 days ... thats how long ...
i never blog ...
and that how long i dun care abt ppls blog ...

cos i found maple story ...
haha ...

a bell at the front of a mountain ...

haha oops ...

erm ...
actually nth much to write ... jus got works to do this week ...
think this week can earn up to 350 dollar this week ...
but
will be more cos sure got ot ...
wushu performance is 160 liao ...
then work ... from sun morning 3 am till 12 noon ... still dun know if will extend ...
then wahaha ...
sure tired like hell ...
haha
my life now is kind of not bad
hehe ...
sagi on a love opportunity ...

having someone close to me haha ... haha ...

missing someone ...

yos ... haha ... back blogging

2004-11-24T22:54:00.000-08:00

haha today read a horoscope ... quite true ... haha lol ..

Sagittarius

Enthusiasm and accomplishment are a happy couple, and they inform your life the first three days of this week. Couples can take big strides in their relationship (and enjoy themselves immensely along the way), while singletons have stellar opportunities to promote their own love agenda (while partying like rock stars). Things tone down in time for a family-oriented Thursday and Friday; your willingness to help out cheerfully with the small details makes you much beloved. You may find yourself double- or triple-booked this weekend, but rushing around won't satisfy your urge for something deep. Don't be afraid to opt out.

haha lol ... singletons have stellar opportunities to promote their own love agenda ...
ya realli is opportunitiesssssss haha lol ... dots ...

haha .... i like it ... haha lol ... nth much to say also ...

thx to ppl for rememberingm y bday ... appreciate that ...
special thx for ppl who gave me present ...
and special thx to ppl who sincerly wish me well for my birthday ...

basically thx a billion ²³

haha best present is i gave my self de ... haha ... got sth ... haha lol ... onli some ppl will know ... haha ah hui mei will know haha lol

last but not least ... HAPPY BIRTHDAY WAN GUANGYAO ERIC
18 years on earth liao ... haha

wahaha ... got another job

2004-11-20T21:02:00.000-08:00

wahaha ... tml i going to orchard to blow balloon ... guess is maybe one day onli la ... haha ... but in future be it short or long think they will call me ... haha lol ..
cos they want part timer ... hah ...
can work on sat and sun also ma ... haha ..

hai sian ... then tok abt ...
ji mo nan nai ...
haha lol ... today read a book borrow from rui ling ...
is call
bao bao pei pei de hui yi ...

got one part ... haha i wish to share ... although ...
i know i say liao ... the person i miss wont be missing me
jus like wad shi hui say ...
a like b and b like c ... haha
still wanna share ...
is in chinese ...
i translate ...
when u miss someone is cos u have kept him in ur heart
when heart pain is cos u missing someone is cos that person is not by ur side ...

haha lol ...
this is veri nice ... haha ... okok i think in chinese is better ... haha i go hand phone and do ... haha ...
思念某人
是因你已将他放在心底了。
因思念而心痛的时候，
是因为那个人此刻不在身边

:'(

haha

wahaha ... me got pms u believe

2004-11-19T13:43:00.000-08:00

whahaha bloggy ...
i think i mood swing ...
no wrong ...
is feeling swing ... haha ... lol ...

dun know ... sudden will have this feeling suddenly wil have that feeling ... for the entire day ...
haha lol ...
dun know la ...
feeling imbalance ... haha lol ...
anyway i am playing maple right now ... haha
i hide and let friend kill i earn xp ... hu call him xp so high ... haha lol ...
haha okok la ...
dun know wad much to write also ... haha ...

changing moon ...

bloggy bloggy

2004-11-17T13:16:00.000-08:00

...
dun know wher to start ...
start from yesterday ba ...

all the way i was at home ...
in msn ... dun know why i suddenly change in to this nick ..

521 ... 52 10 1314 ...
haha then jo told me ..
wo ai ni is 512 ..
5 = sound like wo ...
1 = seem like i = ai ...
2 = hokkien 2 sound like ni = ni

haha then the behind part onli a few ppl can understand ...

so far shi hui understand ...
haha is simple ...
10 was once my number in life ...
i guess it is still same up till now ...

haha one of my wushu friend hit bulls eye ...

she say ... although i always seem happy and smiling ...
but hor my heart veri sad ...
haha at that time i str sadded ...
right on the dot ...
haha ...

hai ...
once i told someone ...

my heart is cold ...
althought there are alot of torch of fire(ppl)
ard me but none can realli warm me up ... onli that 10 torch ... haha ...

then ...
saw her bloggy ...
kept think ..
haha those words meant for who ...
haha ... for the guy she chase giving up me ..
or wad ...

haha how i wish that was for me ...
don realli know ...
dun think can ask .. cos she may not reply ...

that dream haha if is me ... i will pinch her and tell her is true ...
ur dream in is reality ...

haha ... for now ... it has been a long time since i realli get a good look at her ...

haha ... hai sian ... tonight still got wushu ...
got to go sch early ... to find toopid teacher ... haha ...
oops toopid .. too used to it ...
stupid i mean ...
okok gtg bye bloggy ...

yo bloggy

2004-11-16T12:59:00.000-08:00

hi bloggy ...
yesterday morning wasnt feeling good ...
headache giddy dia ... vomit also ...
but after the small vomit ... i feel better liao la ... haa ...
then went to shi fu hse to prepare go chinese garden for performace ...
wahaha ... reach there ard 5
then wait wait wait till 8
knn starving ... then went to the kitchen ...
ooo i forget to say ... we performing for those anniversary dinner of an ang moh company ... haha ...
then the kitchen is fuking high class ... haha ...
then went to get some food ...
they gave us 2 pack of rice ... wow ... so happy ...
although veg is not that nice ... but is the best food i ever eaten ...
cos starving like hell ... haha ...

ooo now outside raining ...
wahha ... yesterday ... the moon was changing ...
into a smaller crescent moon ...
haha changing moon ...

hai ... a fairytale ... wonder which character is refering to ???

haha ... hai ...
i once learn sth ... it is always never too late to do sth ... is jus whether do u dare to do it or to say it ... thats all ...

hai ... i think i sign off liao le la ... go play some game to keep my mind busy of those things ...
buai

4 days no blog

2004-11-14T01:23:00.000-08:00

wahaha finally finally ...
dewu anniversary dinner is finally finished ... haha ..

then hor ... wa kao ... me and good buddy drank 3 glasses of sprite
cold de ... continusely down ... whaha gastric pain ...

then yum seng ... haha ...

haha ...
got performance ...
haha 2 dui lian ... haha ...
got some small injuries ...
but okok la ...
no problem ...

haha lol ... hmm ...

actually i also dun know wad to say liao ... next time then say ... maybe now tired ... haha gd bye

2 days no blog

2004-11-09T20:03:00.000-08:00

wahah 2 days i didnt blog ... hmm lets start wif monday ... monday i erm ...
ooo i stay at home play game ... haha nth much then went to xin yi shop at roxy ...
our new wushu equip shop there to help then went down to bukit timah to rehersal ...
haha took dinner at parkway the banquet ... damn got a small diarroea next morning ... haha
then worst ...
too a cab down to bukit timah then got slow traffic ... the cab sux ...
move slow down ... then head keep go front and back and forth ... so giddy ... like wanna vomit like that ...
arghs ...
then reach ther ... knn 2 buddies never come ... so i cannot rehersal ... sian ...
kanna bluff ... hai .. then today ... tuesday ... morning went to xin yi again ... then go to pa the youth association there ... to hang banner at road side ...
cos recuiting student ma ... haha ... then after that went to eat wif shi fu and my junior shun long ... and tok alot of things ...
haha ... tok tok tok ...
then went back to xin yi again ...
haha then went to next building yi fong ... same shop jus tranferring onli ...
haha i saw wood saw metal ... wow ... hand so lemon ... haha lol ... sour ma ... haha ...
gd thing fast fast recover liao ... haha ...

then all finish went to cut hair ... haha when he gel ... quite stylish ... hope i can do the same too ... haha lol ...
then most probably on friday i going to dye my hair ... haha ...
think will be copper red ... haha dark one de la ...
hope wont be same like jas ... hope is better ... whaha ... (sry jo)
haha jus joking ...

hmm ... hai don know la ...
some nice words i wanna say ...
jiu ru chou chang chou gen chou ...
means drink alcohol into ur trouble mind u will be more troubled ...
correct ma ... is no use drinking ... haha ...
haha lol ... saw from the vcd abt shaolin wushu ... haha ...
haha guess i shall stop here ...
erm ... 11 of nov is reaching soon ...
ya ... haha dun know why ... god made my day on 11 of nov a veri busy one till late at night ...
thx god .. at least keep my mind busy from thinking ... haha ...

bb ... tc all ...

finally sth happy to blog abt

2004-11-08T00:50:00.000-08:00

haha
today not bad quite happy ... and guilty and sad too ...
cos i left the food my jiu mu gave me to gif my mum at the jurong training ground ...
so forgetfull ... hai ... got call and say sry la ...
so guilty ... her hardwork ...

hai yo ...

then today ... happy cos ...
morning went grading ... afternoon saw wood and evening got training ...
haha things kinda smoonth for me until night ... ocs of the forgetfullness of me ...
hai ...
hmm i also dun know wad more to blog on ...
jus jus ... hope erm ... nvm nth ...

haha ...

ya one more thing ... today heard the song paint my love my micheal learns to rock ...

my love was painted like the song wrote and left broken ... haha total same ..
everything has change ...

haha ... hmm shall not say liao ...
tc bb ...
i still love u most ... but i also love ...my 3 meis ... missy wei ... gu company's customer and the owner and mei's cousin mel ... erm ... wushu gd friend ... library friend de ling ... haha ... erm ... changingmoon ...
yeah ... i love all ... even to those not mention here ...
but not to those i dun like ... haha yeah ... still love her most ... unchangable fact ... haha

muahaha ... if u got a weak heart dun read

2004-11-07T01:51:00.000-08:00

exams ...
finally over ... haha .. last paper of nyp ...
haha ...
fools ...
was in sch to study dude ...
the library was like onli got 15 to 20 ppl haha ...
a few tables occupy and thats all ...
the library wad entirely ours ... shouting here and there ...
but got study la ...
haha ... hai ..

now that exam is over ... rotting ...

hai ..
beside finishing my exam ...
celebrating friends birthday ... ya now friends ..
hmm maybe i jus wish nia ...

haha ... and wad else more can i be more happy abt ...
maybe being in a pool bad temper ...

haha ... recently having low temper tolerant ... especially on sat ...
hai ... that is yesterday cos now after 12 liao ...
haha ...

caring too much for others is bad for own health ...
haha ...
arghs ... damn ...
i am going to blog wad i feel and not to blog wad others wanna read ...

i jus dun like the way things it is now ...
onli for a certain small part nia ..
and it is the culprit ...

the word tc has not been working ... haha lol ...

hope ppl that read this wont know wad the hell i am toking abt ...

cos i am so fan till i also dun know wad i writing abt ...
guess that wad my heart is feeling ... messy ...
bb i wanna slp ...

hey bloggy

2004-11-03T23:40:00.000-08:00

hey bloggy ... think i know sth liao ...
haha i gonna heck care liao ...

gonna try to dun care ...
haha ... wad ever the hell it is la ... i am too tired liao ...

partially got to blame the fuking exam also ...
hai ... been abit vuglur in my typing ...
hai .. bo bian ...
imbalance ... so got to release some frustration ...
hai ...
3 papers down 2 more to go ...
i still haven study ... totally don feel like ... tml then study ... haha ... gonna go slp soon ...

hai ... this few months is the most fuk up period of my life ...
hope after my birthday will be a turning point ... hai ...

pray and hope so ...

cos ...

god damn it ...

hai ... cant stop being vulgur ...
not feeling good ... and cant help it ...

fuk this life and fuk this nonsense ...
fuk the hell out ...
and
fuk myself upside down ...
pui ... na bei ccb ...
hai ... angry ...
angry wif ...
MYSELF ...
u believe it ...
even if u dun believe u still got believe ...

damn my this life now ... gtg ... bye ...
hu realli know ...
no one ...
no one ...
:'(

bloggy bloggy help me

2004-11-03T13:16:00.000-08:00

help help ...
hai bloggy ...
wads happening to me ...
this feeling sux ... and
i am have a bad moody wor ...

is me create out of myself de ...
haha here not safe to tell u ..
when i go bed bed then i tell u k ...
or haha i put invisible ... haha if i ever know how to do it ...
will try later ... haha ...
hai hai ...
i don know why today so good ... engross ba ... study till now ... 1 pm ...
hai ... tml exam at 430 ...

haha hai ...

now i also dun know wad much to say ...
ya sth ...
if ppl got time to go blog and type shoutbox ...
why they dun have time to blog out their day ...
haha yeah ...
how i wish i am totallu out of touch wif *** then i wont know i wont think ...
hai ... or gif me a good reason to hate till i am done doing so ...

hai ... today saw some poem ... shall blog it out next time round ...

fri sat and sun

2004-10-31T22:33:00.000-08:00

hai didnt realise that i 3 day never blog ...
althought i online for those 3 days ...
so now going to blog wad i remember ...
on friday ... wahaha ... whole day at home ... haha .. playing .. la .
simply not studying ...
playing and playing and chatting and chatting ... haha ...
hai ... she got a job ... but when she was having a exam ...
is ok ba ... jus hope she will cope it well ... haha ...
she can de ...
hai i do care ... erm ... still ...
haha ... hai will keep it short cos got to study ...
then sat wahaha ... morning wake up late then afternoon go wif friends play
lan gaming ... cos friend got his "passport" cos relationship passport ... haha
then we long time no like this gather ... so there we go and after that ... we went to ubi cc for our training ... hai as usually i did nth there ... cos too tired from the gaming to train ... haha lol ...
hmm then went home ... play game again ... haha ...
then tired wor ... then go to bed ard 1
haha guess wad bro watching wwf ... i mean wwe .. then i wanna slp then suddenly ...
i hear him snore ... fuk ...
then i wake him up ...
scold him ...
wanna slp then slp wanna watch then don slp ...
knn always i close tv for him ...
angry ...
arghs ... then he say he wanna watch ... then knn after that i super awake ... so went to cook mee ... eat liao then went to study ... one qns ... haha a veri long qns la ... then after that ... tired liao ... so went to slp ... i think 2 plus to 3 ba ... then next day ...
sunday ...
woke at 828 by zi wei ... cos he suddenly got to go back to camp then he cannot go teach ... nono ... he first ask me if i free today ... then i say no ... then i ask him why ... then he told me that ... then i see time 828 then i say ... time don allow ... i go there the class end ... if he say earlier i sure go de ...
hai then again woke at 9 ...
hai to morning call my friend ... i help her when she was down wif her bf ...
haha now they are back liao ... haha ... happy for them ...
she wanna wake at 9 cos her bf is hosting those kids show at 930 i think ... haha ...
morning call at 9 is ok for me liao .. i have got use to morning call ppl ... haha ... but not waking up ... haha ... then i slp till 1 ... omg ...
then eat lunch ... then slp and slp till 4 ... wahaha ... is like entire afternoon is slping ... haha then went to play game again ... play till also forget wad time ... haha then went to bath and study 3 more qns ...
then qns i mean is exam qns ... cos we got tips ... know exactly wad qns liao ...
haha ... then after that went out to eat again ... omg ... haha ... eat and eat ...
now till mei mei say i didnt blog i then realise i forget all abt bloggy ... haha ... sry hor ...
then now ... going back to study ... stress liao ... haha ...

anyway ... i got used to my life now ...
althought i am looking for new life now ...
but i treat everything as new ... including u ...
haha yeah ... still will sad and miss those time whenever i see
sth ... even small little things ...
haha i ready to move on wif everything as new ... but i know to u ... i wont be new

but is ok ... haha ...
yaya i yesterday watch a vcd call shaolin temple ... wow ... the skill knn
power .. haha ... lol ... is realli old shaolin ppl ... cos this show veri long ago liao ... haha ... vier long ... before i was born ... and when jet lee was young ...
haha okok I GOING BACK TO STUDY LIAO ..
take care to all ppl i am concern wif ...
u all know who i mean ...
anyway ... tc on ur night work ... jia you ... dun forget ur exams ... study hard ...
haha ... okok realli i go study liao bb ...

Thursday At home

2004-10-28T19:05:00.000-07:00

wahaha ... morning woke up jus to play game ... omg ... eric ... u are in deep shiit ...
no exam dun play when got exam then u play ... hai ...

nvm ... then hor ... terrible afternoon ... haha ...

haha ... then cannot study ... cos cant concentrate ...
haha ... so slack .. haha ... heng got gin blog de tag to play wif and have fun ... haha lol ...

haha ... think must learn from her ... no go online ... haha ...
but she still got online ... haha ... to reply tag ... haha ... lol ...

hai ...
hope her sociology can pass good good ... or at least pass ... haha ...
hope the rest of her module wadever she remember by hard will come out ... haha ...
good luck girl ...
i will always wish u all the best wif the best of luck ...
anyway have fun tml in sch ... and ur jian fei cheng gong ...
study and stress too much ... then keep eating and eating ... haha ...
jian fei cheng gong wor ... haha ... u can de ...

Yo Yo Yo Verse One ...

2004-10-27T18:50:00.000-07:00

yoyo ... tonight will have my wuha by wibler from shir ... weee ...
haha...

today the exam ... the qns wad as wad the tips has given ... in fact is the same ...

i know hardly got ppl come in see my blog ... onli some close friends ...
haha good ma ...
low profile for this type of things ... haha ...
hmm ... so haha leak some exam top secret is ok ... wahha ... lol ...
jkjk if i know the top secret ... i wont be sittng here typing ... i will be behind some iron like gate ... squatting there ... eating rice bake by black bean ...
hey duo fan ... haha ... lol ...

hai ya ... actually hor ... got some things i wanna write ... but cant ...

hai ... yaya .. ya ...
i got one qns here ... nearly forget ...
how to define flirt ???
i mean in specific terms ... haha ... sth i stuck on .. haha ...
and wad do u think of flirt and flings ... haha ...

haha lol ...
haha ... in process of the next stage in my human life cycle ... hai ...
blur ...

the day before exam

2004-10-26T20:00:00.000-07:00

haha hai ... slowly getting used to this shiit man ...
haha ...

but still got a obstacle that will be ther forever ...
haha ...

lol ... but ok la ...
today ... at least got study wor ... haha ...
not bad ...
tml exam ... stress liao ... of cos wil study la ... haha ...
lol ... actually hor ... if u see a place wif typing ... this 3 dots ...
haha appearing everywhere ... that will has to be me ... haha ... i type de ... haha ... lol ... kind of used to it liao ... haha lol ...

okok la ... don wanna blog too much today ,... haha going back to study ...
dbi0309 ... god luck to exam ... and also to gin ... u too gd luck ... and also ... uma and mel ... haha ...
yeah ... haha ... okok bb ...

god damn it ...

2004-10-26T01:58:00.000-07:00

god shiit ... monday was a totaly shiit ...
first is i cant study ...
second is ...
i got myself into total shiit ...

god damn it ...
why is this happening ...
eric wad are u doing ...
wake up ...
how cum like that ... in jus a matter of few hours ... and i got into this mess ...
hmm is it a mess i still dun know ...
but i predict ... hard road down ahead ...
is it realli hard road ... onli time will tells ...

haha ... hai ... jus cant believe it myself ... hai ...
if this is bad ... i think i will get deeper ...
if this is good ... then so be it ...
hai ... don know la ... exam is on wed and i cant study ... god save me ...

hai .. god bless ...

A Day Of Worth Celebrating

2004-10-24T23:52:00.000-07:00

Morning woke at 900 haha ... need to call sum one ... haha ...

trying to help ... haha ...
then mum called ...
knn ...
last night never mention us ...
i also forget liao ... is my cousin or also my god mum's daughter getting married ... haha ...
so woke up and went off for wedding lunch ... haha ... lol ..

lunch ... haha ... funny ...

then hor ... reach there ... wow she is beautiful ... veri beautiful ... weeuuu we ..
haha lol ...

then haha ... now they shld be have erm ... how shld i say ...
baby making ba ... haha ...

lol at the hotel there ... haha ...
the room quite nice and furnished ... haha ...
then hey ... i sat at first table ... vip table ... cos god son ma ... haha ...
of cos la ... haha ... got ppl serve somemore ... felt so high ... haha first time ... and first time go up stage yum seng haha ... lol ...

shoik ... then hor ... end of everything ... i wonder ... when will be my big day ...
when will it arrive ... hai ... haha ... so sweet ... hai ...
my wife ... hah ... still long for me to say this ... haha
i wanna get married before i turn 27 ... but best is go wif fate ...
shun qi zi ran ... haha ...

haha ... hai ... 天下无双
haha lol ... waiting ... hai ...
then now ... went play game ... knn when they say now i will bring u to next stage ... my com shut down totally ... knn ...don know wad happen ... realli next stage ... shut off stage .... hai ... then went back in ... hai ... then suddenly all the feelings is back in me ... u know she and me ...
hai ... killing me ...
is jus like poison ...
sometimes will activate sometimes wont ... haha ..
hai ... haha ... then now ... no heart to study liao ... hai ... wad to do ...

honestly ... my heart is crying now ... crying sadly now ... hai ...
who can understand me ...
qing hua du ...
love plant poison ...
this poison is when kanna u cannot think of love if not u will die ...
if i realli kanna ... tell u ... u will be dead long ago ...
wu si bu ke wo zai xiang zhe ni ...

haha ... i feel so silly ...
stupid of me ...
i can onli secretly doing little things for her ... haha ...
who will know ... nobody ... :'(

never been so sad for so long before ...
never in my life ...
now it is happening right now ...
pieceing up every pieces of my broken heart ...
paper heart ... ya ...
my 10 dollar paper heart ... so weak so vulnerable ...
haha guess i am jus like that ba ... haha ...
i am always on the losing side ... since small ...
always on the losing side ...
always suffering ...
forget it ... suan le ... don wanna say le ...
feeling more worst ...

lol a pull grass sat

2004-10-23T20:22:00.000-07:00

haha woke up quite late la today ... then went out to pa to pull grass .. haha ...

there hai yo ... so many wild grass and hor while pulling ...
we saw this small creature ...
look like snake and has 4 legs ...
we call it 4 leggy snake ... haha ... realli small ... haha ...but the skin is veri shiny ... haha ... then like water snake like that ... haha lol ...
hai .. me and my friend spoilt the broom each ... haha ... both new broom we spoilt it haha lol loh ... hai ... sian ... after that went home then not much things happen ... hai ... also dun know wad to write ... hai ... okok la... i think i shall stop here ba haha ...

take care ... bb huggies ...

九王爷九王爷九王爷九王爷九王爷

2004-10-23T11:32:00.000-07:00

九王爷 wahahah .... went to join in the crowd to send him back to south heaven gate ...
nan tian men ... haha ...

then at changi beach ... haha ... rain sia ... knn so cold ... haha but ok la ...
hai ... ooo no ... i stomach pain now ... tok to ya later ... bye

天若有情天亦老，月如無恨月長圓。

2004-10-22T18:42:00.000-07:00

天若有情天亦老，月如無恨月長圓。
haha this is the correct one ... hah ...
ard one month ago ... i think i blog the wrong phase ... haha ...
lol there ... this is then the correct de ...
天若有情天亦老，月如無恨月長圓。
hai ...
tian ruo you qing tian yi lao, yue ruo wu heng yue chang yuan ...
i finally know the meaning ... hai ...

meaning i figured out myself ...
天若有情天亦老
no matter if heaven got or dun have feeling or "relation" heaven also will grow old .. meaning why not have feeling
月如無恨月長圓
if moon doesnt have hate, there shall be more full moon ...
moon is jus like a cold palace ..
jus like chang er banish to moon ...
is a cell to lock ppl by heaven for having feelings or "relations"
thats y it is hated ... ut if it isnt hated ... wont is be beautiful ...
jus like full moon ... which is so beautiful ..

haha ... understand ??? haha ...
thats wad i understand from it ... haha ... 天若有情天亦老，月如無恨月長圓。

hai ... gtg eat liao ...
later going to send 9 king uncle ... haha jiu wang ye ... now no time to make chinese word ... later ba ...
going to send them back ... haha ...

take care gin
take care shi hui
take care lollipink
take care cheryl
take care yi wei
take care jia hui

haha ... lol ... like i am going to leave forever like that ... haha ... no la ... jus wanna say i miss all of u ... haha ... especailly she ... haha yeah ...
she = my blogs name .. haha ...

c ya ... bb ... i will pray to 9 wang ye for all ur safety ... and good result for those haven take exam ... haha ... i think onli left me and gin ba ... haha ...
gd luck ...

SORRY BLOGGIE ...

2004-10-22T10:24:00.000-07:00

sry bloggie ... so long no talk to u ...

cos i got to rush for my proj ma ... at my friend hse ... haha ...

then finally all presented ... so song ...

haha ... hope is distinction case ba ...
haha ... hai ... then the fuking internet ... keep gif me prob ... now i know how to solve it liao ... muahahaha ...
haha

hai .ya ... actually i got alot to tell u ...
but jus ... cant remember or dun know wad and how to tell ...

hai ... so many ppl kanna w32.funner ... wish i could help ... but the patch provided must manually remove it ... haha ...
how to help them ...
one is my mei ... one is sum one valued to me ...

hai ... i am so useless ... hai ... forgif me ...
hai ... sian ...
i am ok when i am busy ... but when ... like now ... nth to do ..
then i will ... hai ... forget it ... think u know wad i saying ... haha ...

okok i shall stop here ... bye

wad a sunday

2004-10-17T23:23:00.000-07:00

haha ...
morning ... wake up wash face ...
go ps haha for movie ...
yeah
ouija board ...
today is sneak preview
haha is abt a grp of gers wanted revenge on classmate who bully here ...
and so they summon a girls and got curse ...
this girl wif her mum suffered same thing in this village ...
the fault of this curse must blame the village ppl and the leader ...
hai ...
then kill here and there ppl ... that bullies and ppl that cause the spirit to die .. 30 years ago ... haha ...
then ending ... the mum and ghost reborn ...
tot is happy ending ... but at the end the small girl become veri feirce ... hai sian ...

haha then after that i went home to rush proj ... haha ... lol

hai ... rush till now ... so hungry ...
hai ... somehow .. i will still miss her ...
don know if she some how or some time got miss me anot ... hai ... nvm ...
bb nite ...

my saturday

2004-10-17T02:00:00.000-07:00

wahaha ... morning woke up is online ... haha ... nth much to do ... see the
heavenly sword and dragon sabra again ... haha ...
then afternoon went out to parkway ...
to buy present ... haha ...
ya for her and other friends also la ... haha ..

shh secret .... wont tell u wad i bought haha ...

then came back home ... internet prob again ... then i shut all down and go bath ...
heng com ok liao back to normal ... haha ...

then dinner yummy ...
first is go the 9 wang ye there bai bai ... after that go parkway again to eat ...
at the banquet ... haha is nice la ... haha ... so long no go out eat wif parents ... haha

then came back home ... hai fought wif fuking bro for the fuking computer ... hai ... dun tok abt it ...

hai .. now 2 pm bro wanna use again ... hai ... bb

back ...

2004-10-16T00:32:00.000-07:00

sry wor bloggie ... so long no blog u ...
cos com spoilt and busy wif asp.net ... haha

alot of things went on this few days ... hai ...
too long to say and i also chose to forget them ... haha ...

no choice ...
forgeting everyday so that i will onli be able to see the future onli ...
forcing myself hard ...

haha ...
add on to my brain stress is proj and on coming exam ... haha ... buai tahan ...
hai ... so sian ...

realli stress up ... asp sux .... simply suck ... haha ...

hai ... hope she understand how i feel then .... i was worst then wad she feel now ...
but i dun wish her to be sad la of cos ...

but jus ... nth i can do ...

haha ...hai ... i shall jus end here today ... hand tired of all the coding and typing ... nite ... bye ...

self trap at home ... on a sunny sunday

2004-10-10T21:51:00.000-07:00

bloggie ... hai ... i am so bored ... hai ... morning till afternoon proj ... after that ... keep slacking ... and slacking ... hai ... see tv ... here and there ...
hai ...
even till now so slack ... dun wish to continue proj liao ... so sian ...
and hor ...
hai ...
today got a continuation of my msn nick
问天下人, 我为谋人, 谁来为我
haha if is 2 months ago ...
it shld be
我为谋人, 谋人为我

but now theres a change ...
haha ... hai ... life is so unpredictable ...
so changable ...
a profound and undying love ...
thats wad 明教教主张无忌 say to zhi ruo for his love to zhao min ...
haha ...
onli ppl that got watch jin yon show will then know ...
haha ...
sian ...
wads life abt ... wonder when will my luck be good again ...

问天下人为和, 如果, 倘若, 也许, 或者, 可能, 莫非
if there isnt these words ard ...
everything in life will be more clearer ...
loneliness is killing me ...
i am so lonely now ...

A Veri Boring Sat

2004-10-10T01:25:00.000-07:00

this is the worst sat i ever had ...
no ppl to sms ...
no ppl online that can tok to ...
bored wif the proj ...
omgosh ... hai ...
sian ...
then in msn wrote these nick
自古多情空于恨, 此恨绵绵无觉惜 ...
问世间情为何物, 只叫人日夜思念 ...
hai the last part 日夜思念 i change myself de ...
hai .. sian ...
one can lie to everyone maybe including heaven ...
but one surely cant lie to himself ...
cos onli he know that he is lying ...
thats me ...
been lying all along ...
but not bad ...
at least by lying it brings me to sum where i feel better ...
hai ... sian ...
wo chu chu wei ni ...
shui lai wei wo ...

sad sad sad veri sad

2004-10-09T03:10:00.000-07:00

now time 3.04 am morning of sat night ...
blogging fri event ...
hai ... the day was still ok ... veri tiring ...
slept late woke up early ...
came home and slept abit ...
ai ya ...

then jus now bro using com ... i was at my bedroom ...
suddenly i jus feel kind of empty ...
cos clearing up the mess liao le ma ...
ya veri empty ...
no cosy at all ...
feel cold inside ...

guess got to live in this poor state for quite a long time ba ...
hai ya ... dun know la ... i am veri tired ... like i said ...
physically tired ... mentally and my heart most tired ... further add on from proj and exam stress ... guess i cannot take it ...
i got once nearly driven to nuts ...
i am serious ...
that period of time i feel i was like in depression mode ...

exhausted ...
i need some confort ...
i need some warmth ...
can someone jus hug me tight ...
i lost my hug and in need of one now ...

dying of cold and mentaly break down ...

late at night writing to blog

2004-10-08T02:00:00.000-07:00

wahah now is 2 am in the morning ...
so i am writing things abt happen yesterday ...

haha ... ai ya jus now do proj thats y no time ma ... haha

hmm in the morning late for lesson again ...
cos i every nite slp late at 2 plus ..
cos of proj ... hai ...

then late and late and late ... haha ...
then reach sch do proj for 3 hours like ... continous u know ... stress ...
all the codes ... hai ... brain gonna burst and we all are going mad liao ...
haha ... don know is pro or wad i am typing now with me eyes closed
serious ... haha ...
too tired from the com screen ...
but nvm la who cares abt me ...

then jus now in the evening reach home then went out again ...
haha go see rui yan first performance ...
a stage performance ...
or rather i shld say is a floor performace haha not bad ...
thumbs up ... haha ...
but is kind of lame ...
haha 12 dollars like that flew away ...
but is ok la ... for a friend ...
worth spending ... haha ...
hmm not going to type much ...
ya one thing ... today morning got bad mood ...
but after calm down and think abit plus todays horoscope from streats ...
i am ok liao ...
hai ya ...
still got wad can make me moody right now ... haha ...

NOW i need sum slp ...
so bloggie ... good nite ...
missing the nights where i slp so sweetly ...
and wake up in the morning full of energy ...
thats the power of love ...
not like now ...
power of stress controlling over me ... haha ...
project and exam and mental stress ... wahaha

wad can i say abt today ...

2004-10-07T00:26:00.000-07:00

sob sob ...
crying hard in my hard ...
trying to avoid ...
trying to hide ...
acting hard to be happy and normal ...

think i can gif myself a gold horse award ...
zi you tao bi wo cai ke yi guo de bi jiao hao yi dian ...

qing ge wang zi zhang xin zhe
she bu de ni ...
hai ...
lyrics so true to me ...

who can understand the pain i am going thru ...
guess some ppl will ...

hate those fuk up feeling ...

how will u feel if see the one u love feel sad for the one she love ...
and the one she love is not u ...

u will be even sad right ... but who is going to care how sad u going to be ...

if looking back from now ...

it seems i am being dump for another guy ...

but maybe thats not the case
wadever it is ...

i am jus a piece of rubbish shit ..
thats wad i feel i am now ...

but so wad a rubbish maybe will get burn
or maybe made into a recycle item ...

but now i am still in the smelly rubbish bin located in a uluu place on earth ...
have yet been collected for years ...
still waiting for someone to collect it ...

Yos back ... haha going to try sth ... select all in order to read the words ... or press crtl then press a

2004-10-05T21:48:00.000-07:00

wahah ... back to post again wor haha

wad to say ... this few days veri busy wif asp.net ... haha
my proj la ...
haha today jus finish tcp/ip phew haha ...

so shoik ... haha ...
then hor ... haha ... my class used to haf 4 grp
now is 3½ grp but within grp got alot of changes ...
haha ...
my grp lost 2 ppl but gain few more wor ...
haha the guys ... haha mopre united ...
jus few ppl we consider as burden haha lol ...
oops ... hope those ppl wont see this haha ...
ok la ...
the other grp i briefly intro ...
that is a loner
and the rest is allies onli hah .. lol wad toking i ...

now abt myself ... feel alot better ...
ya but when in mac fj or walking pass blk a ...
my eyes will keep look out ... haha ...
jo always notice me ... haha lol ...
bo bian she know me too well le ... haha ...
ai ya ... cos wad i do is also wad she always do also ma ...
haha ...

i will jus be behind a wall and doing things 4 u
yeah ... u will always be the one i always love
even if i found another one ... u will still be there ...

yeah ... haha ... hmm ...
now going to chiong proj liao ...
waiting for mel to come online to teach her physic ... she don wanna fail haha ...
ooo ya mel is shihui my big mei de cousin ... haha
and waiting for my third mei to come online too ... haha ...
yeah ...
she is the onli person left that i feel i can communicate wif ... haha ...

bored sad ...
life sux ... yeah ... so wad ...
gtg bb ...

Final words

2004-10-02T11:07:00.000-07:00

bloggie ...
i lost the source to carry on this blog ...
wad i wish to see has finally arrive ...
from her last 3 post ... i know ...

i know i understand why i am treated this way ...

it shld be me ...
i will be delicating michael learns to rock's (That's why)you go away
why this song ...
look at the lyrics ...
baby wont u tell me why there is saddness in your eyes
i dont wanna say good bye to you love is one big illusion i should try to forget
but there is something left in my head you're the one who set it up
now you're the one who make it stop
i'm the one who's feeling lost right now
now u want me to forget every little thing u said
but theres sth left in my head ...
i wont forget the way u kissing
the feeling so strong were lasting for so long
but i'm not the man ur heart is missing
thats y u go away i know
you were never satisfied no matter how i tried
now u wanna say good bye to me
love is one big illusion i should try to forget
but there is something left in my head
chorus ...
sitting here all alone in the middle of nowhere
dont know which way to go
there aint so much to say now between us ...
there aint so much for u there aint so much for me anymore ...

thats the end of lyrics ...

i am so sad ...
i am affect by every word you say ...
u happy i happy ...
u sad i sad ...
u moody i moody ...
but yet i still wish to know ur mood ...
my feeling is no longer a prioty in ur heart ...

you made me so love and yet so hate ...
make me hated myself even more ...

who knows wad i feeling now ...
i am totally lost althought i seem arent ...
it pain ... still hurt as much even if i seem fine and good ...
the actor is dying ...
i wish to die ...
that seems the best way ...
bloggie ...
Gy-In-Nov ... i name u after her from every start of each word ...
now the source has gone ...
i think ... i wont be blogging on u liao ...
cos i am dead ... cos my life support has gone to support others ...

:'( who knows i am crying so deeply but yet the person i crying for is crying for others ... who will understand me ...

yi wei say i think too much ... ya seem so ...
but it seems to me she is veri concern for someone now ...
and not me ... i don feel it ...
sour and yet anger abt myself ...

i will never forgive myself ...

today is thursday ...

2004-09-30T21:41:00.000-07:00

wahaha ... is proj day sia ...
haha ... first is asp keep gif me problem ... hai ...
then hor next is buz comm proj ...
is like entire thing is did by me ...
cos the things given by my friend i didnt use ...
broken eng and not related .. haha ...
i did everything ... wif help from bday girl ...
sooo teck ... haha ... we bought a mp3 player for her ... share la ...
hha and also today celebrate ... got cake also haha ...

then wa did proj until my friend say is 7 liao ... i then wa ...
so late liao ... haha ...

lol ... hai ...

today ... got 4 person celbrate bday ...
3 are my friends ...
last one is ...
daddy of *** haha ...
hope they got a enjoyable day ...
and also ... HAPPY CELEBRATION ...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL ....
yupee ... haha ...

hope they have a great time .. haah

late tagging

2004-09-29T12:11:00.000-07:00

sry wor bloggie last nite no blog ... cos my bro wanna use then i need study the financial test ... haha ...

hmm ... hai ... wrote a testimonial for her ... haha ...
kind of funny ... haha ...

when i wrote for her ... feelings inside ..
all came back ...

been hiding all along ...
i not that good at hiding hai ...

trying to reframe myself ..
haha i talk until like i drug addict like that ...
haha but it realli seems so ...

hai ... jus like love poison ...
onli will pain at certain times onli ... and when atart to think the pain comes again ...
but i never regret taking this poison down ...

but i onli regret losing my potion for this poison ...

haha wad toking me ... yang guo and xiao long nu 16 years wait ...
don tell me i also need 16 years ... hai ...

haha .. okok la ... now in labby ... going to take a look at her blog again then start doing by labby things ...

Monday blues and Monday reds

2004-09-27T19:54:00.000-07:00

wee ... today got monday blue and red ... haha cos red is opposite...
got abit of mix la ... haha ...
hmm ... nth much to say abt today ....

jus wanna put 2 songs that speak of my heart ...
haha love prince song again ... haha ..
i mean zhang xin zhe ...
haha ...

first is tai xiang ai ni 太想愛你...
second is chong kai shi dao xian zai 從開始到現在...

first one tai xiang ai ni 太想愛你
慌亂城市中連風都不自由
熱鬧的街頭就屬我最寂寞
是愛的蠱惑讓我又興起貪求的念頭
有多愛我夠不夠久會不會走

藏在柔順背後你忠於自我
情愛裡游走從不曾見你低頭
我卻常犯錯像一個太忙太累太傻的陀螺
轉個不休只放不收停不了手

太想愛你是我壓抑不了的念頭
想要全面佔領你的喜怒哀愁
你已征服了我卻還不屬於我
叫我如何不去猜測你在想什麼

太想愛你是我壓抑不了的折磨
能否請你不要不要選擇閃躲
只想愛你的我太想愛你的我
難道只能在迷霧中猜你的輪廓

Want Too Much To Love You (Jeff Chang)
In a flurried city, even the wind is not free
On the bustling streets, consider me one of the loneliest
It's love's poison to let me raise interest in this idea again
How much do you love me, is it enough, will you leave?

Concealed behind meekness, you're devoted to yourself
Wandering in love, I've never seen you yield before
Yet I commit many wrongs, like a too busy, too tired, too foolish top
Spinning without rest, just can't conclude, can't stop...

Wanting too much to love you is my unconstrainable idea
I want to completely capture your happiness, anger, sadness, worry
You've already conquered me, yet still don't belong to me
How do you want me to guess what you're thinking?

Wanting too much to love you is my unconstrainable affliction
Can you please don't, don't choose to evade
I only want to love you, I want too much to love you
Must I only guess at your rough sketch from within this dense fog?

second is chong kai shi dao xian zai 從開始到現在
如果這是最後的結局
為何我還忘不了你
時間改變了我們告別了單純

如果重逢也無法繼續
失去才算是永恆
懲罰我的認真是我太過天真

難道我就這樣過我的一生
我的吻注定吻不到最愛的人
為你等從一開始盼到現在
也同樣落的不可能~

難道愛情可以轉交給別人
但命運注定留不住我愛的人
我不能我怎麼會願意承認
你是我不該愛的人

如果再見是為了再分
失去才算是永恆
一次新的記憶為何還要再生

難道我就這樣過我的一生
我的吻注定吻不到最愛的人
為你等從一開始盼到現在
也同樣落的不可能~

難道愛情可以轉交給別人
但命運注定留不住我愛的人
我不能我怎麼會願意承認
你是我不該愛的人

拿什麼作證
從未~ 想過愛一個人
需要那麼殘忍才證明愛的深

難道我就這樣過我的一生
我的吻注定吻不到最愛的人
為你等從一開始盼到現在
也同樣落的不可能~

難道愛情可以轉交給別人
但命運注定留不住我愛的人
我不能我怎麼會願意承認
你是我愛錯了的人

From Beginning Until Now (Jeff Chang)
If this is the final ending
Why can I still not forget you?
Time has changed, we've said our good-byes to innocence

Even if we met again, there's no way to continue
Only loss can be considered eternal
Penalizing my earnestness, it's that I was too naïve

Can it be that I will spend my life like this?
My kiss is doomed to never kiss my most beloved person
I've waited for you from the beginning looking forward to now
And falling the same way is an impossibility~

Can it be that love can be transferred to someone else
But fate is doomed to be unable to keep the one I love
I can't-- how could I?-- be willing to admit
You are someone I shouldn't have loved

If saying goodbye is for splitting up again
Only loss can be considered eternal
Why does what was once a new memory still resurface?

Can it be that I will spend my life like this?
My kiss is doomed to never kiss my most beloved person
I've waited for you from the beginning looking forward to now
And falling the same way is an impossibility~

Can it be that love can be transferred to someone else
But fate is doomed to be unable to keep the one I love
I can't-- how could I?-- be willing to admit
You are someone I shouldn't have loved

What should I use as proof?
Never before, did I think that loving a person
Needs to be so cruel to prove love's depth

Can it be that I will spend my life like this?
My kiss is doomed to never kiss my most beloved person
I've waited for you from the beginning looking forward to now
And falling the same way is an impossibility~

hai ya ... thats is wad i am feeling ... hai ...
guys are jerk ...
i am one
i don wanna be one ...
but fate force me to ...
so i got to live wif it ...
and be one ...

is true ... who will forget the girl which they are first time truely in love with .....

it is hard ... it hurts ...
even long time has pass ...
and when we meet ...
everything comes back ...
if u jus wanna see me happy and u are at ease ...
then i will smile ... and luff ...
jus like a actor on the stage ...
onli can find his princess actress on the stage onli too ...

signing off .... The Actor ...

Celebration part 2

2004-09-26T23:41:00.000-07:00

wow ... reach there at 12.20 like that ...
go ntuc buy thing ... nearly 50 dollars ... wow heng got to ntuc voucher ... haha ...
left 10 dollars nia

but is ok ...
then we all have fun cleaning up dewu ... wow ... so dusty ...
i and few friends working so hard some of them jus sit inside .. but is ok la...
nvm ... haha more ppl more trouble ... bday boi sit inside ok la haha ...

then i sian liao ... i go eat ... wa all don do liao loh ... is like i do then they do ... haha bo bian ...
i am like sub head organizer ... haha ...
haha ... lol ... then we rest then i tired never play poker wif them ...
haha ... my heart also hai ...nvm onli know today must enjoy can liao ...
haha ...

then wa time flies ... wa sian loh ...
heaven like going to rain liao ...
hai ... even if no rain ppl also wont come ...
wa kao i sian half ...

hai ... then me and friend go buy ice ... wa run so many place n ice ...

then go 7-11 so many indians ...
ai ya ... not sg type is foreign type ... smelly ... then wa kao ...
finally reach 7-11 no ppn inside ... wa finally ... out of there ... then no ice also ... omg ... then me and friend don feel like going out but in the end we rush our way out sia ... yucks ...
eee

hai ... when i return ... as i predicted ...
no ppl ... hai ... then it will be a gathering for us liao ... haha ...
first celebrate the bday ... open the ice cream cake ... haha ... then cut till yucks ... i don dare eat ... haha go out eat buffet ... haha ... lol ..

then hor ... haha show going to start ...
first the all drawing competition haha ...
kids drawing ... expected ... haha lol ...
first prize is winni the pooh ... wahaha so cute ...
second is i forget ... haha
third is hippo ...
haha lol ... then yeah my show started ...
ee this year chang er that is me look like chang er has grown old ... and has change to jap style ...
eee ugly still got a mole like PCK ...

haha ... then performance start ... start of show i slip and fall ... omg .. haha ...

then we didnt reherse at all ... is jus on the spot act all out ...
haha ... create alot of joke ... haha ... yeah ...
ppl enjoy can liao ... haha ...

then hor ... haha right after we perform ...
the entire building blackout ...is like omg but heng we clever ...
is lantern time and fire works time ... haha ... lol ... yupee ... haha ...

haha play and play ... finally light back ... then haha
is again games ...
step ballon time ... haha ...
yeah ... fun ... haha ...
hai yo ... i sad for my friend ...
hai ... tied down my gf ... hai ...
cannot this cannot that ... is like ...
over possessive ... haha
nvm ... we outside better don say much ...
haha ...
haha then ... haha birthday bash ...
haha ... don know why all kids rush first ... haha that one still ok ...
then out turn ... wahha ... all the way beat ... haha ..

then after that ... is ziwei turn ... cos one more week is his ... haha i start first. .. also beat ... haha ... 20 times ... hah ... damn hard ... i tot i hard liao ... kids beat even harder .. is like wow ....

haha ...
ai ya enjoy can liao ...

no need groom abt no ppl coming ...
since no ppl come then make the best out of everything ... haha ... we all seniors have fun then haha ... yeah ... then after that all slack out .. hah ... tired ...
esp me ... did so much work too ...
haha ... heng go coach live near me ... went off wif him haha ... came home sitting here ... haha going to study for tml test ... hmm ...
yeah ... wanna say i miss ya ... still i love u
yet got to move on ... so see fate ba ...

:) ... good luck to me test tml ...

Celebration

2004-09-26T10:56:00.000-07:00

Yupee i now going out for my mooncake celebration ...
organization ...
will update more bloggie ... bb

An Actor Part 2

2004-09-25T13:20:00.000-07:00

An Actor's life on stage ...
if u understand the true meaning of wad i typing then u will know how i feel know ...

Life on stage ...

an actor of a story would of cos want to have alot of ppl to watch the show

but me this actor of feeling ...
i wish there isnt ...
hope there isnt any viewers ...
cos i will not have to act ...
but it is never true ...
so i will forever be in this acting "job"
a free labour job ...
but is ok ...
since i am trap here ... then i will have to find the actress ...
cos onli the actress will know i am faking my feelings and onli the actress will know my true feeling ...

the actress ... who will it be ... i don know ...
i onli know that one of the viewer now tht is watching me act ... will one day be my actress next time ...
yeah ...

Did anyone know i am a racing car in life ...
even i walk also ...
i have great speed in everything ...

once i start "walking" and "moving"
i will start veri slow ...
but slowly i will be like bullet train ...
thats y hardly anyone can catch my speed in life ...
the adventure thirst ...

yeah but one things is ... the faster i go the heavier i fell if i trip on sth ...
the worst the injuries ...
now ... still healing a never gonna recover injuries ... cost the love plant poison is in me ...
so i still have to move ... don want to be left behind ...
i want to be first ...
i moved on wif my wounds ... slowly speeding up ...
jus i will never be like wad i used to be ...
cos the scar will be there ...

but ... maybe thats part of my life ...
glad i have this fall ... a pause in life that once make me warm ...
and now cold again ...

i onli regret myself for being myself ... cos look at me ...
hai i am jus nth but jus a small fly ... an ugly fly ...

The Lonely Actor ...

An Actor

2004-09-25T01:38:00.000-07:00

Todays topic is abt an actor ...

yeah ... i am the actor ...
an actor of my feelings ...
the world and time is my stage ...
the ppl ard me shall be by viewer ...

an actors' job is to betray their own character and feelings and act out wad viewers wanna see ...
yeah ...
say things viewer wanna hear ...

they cannot say the real thing if not alot of prob will arise ...
hai ...

i don wish to ba an actor ... but like i say in my few blogs ago ...
i was force into this actor job and not getting any money ...

an actor waiting for a particular viewer to bring him out of the acting world ...
into the real world where he can show his feeling out ... and yet received in return ...

hai like wad shi hui say ... dan lian is tong ku ...
but when u don know if is dan lian or zi zhuo duo qing or both parties still like each other ... that is more painful ... cos u cant cfm anything ...

so ... i got to act ...
since small i good at acting ...
but not good at acting feelings ...
got to learn ..

if her ans is still the same guess i wont be able to get out the acting world until i die ba ... hai ...

today in training ... foot got alot of blister hai ... painful ...
hai ...

i am jus cheating myself ... i am jus simply hiding ...

an actor like micheal learns to rock ... hai ...
i am so sad ... nono ... i am happy ...

:) yeah i have a good day ...
haha ... have fun out at training too and suntec accompany my friend buy digital video cam printer and cdrw ... hai ...
ya ... that all ... don wish to say liao ...

tml ba...
i know one day ... i will act in one scene ... the scene where u see the one u love loving someone else ...

that will be the hardest part to act ... maybe that part of acting ... i will jus
take leave off then hide myself up ... and then bloggie sry ... i wont be seeing u ... or i will secretly come find u ...

i love u ... yeah u
i love first to third mei ...
*dotes*

who will it be ???

2004-09-23T20:02:00.000-07:00

haha ... today got some lines to share ...

If nothing last forever ...
who will be my nothing ...

and also this one ...

will you be by the side of the one you love ?
or
be by the side of the one that love you ???

which one will u choose ...

i will choose be by the side of the one i love la ...
...
but ppl who choose this ya ... sad thing is ...
then one u love maybe not realli love u
but sometimes will will and still got to realise that
who realli love them ...
appreciate them ...
and u will know who to love them back ...

some ppl show love in a silence way ...
some ppl is force to keep it but yet they wanna show it out jus that the situation cant ...

hai ...

sad sad sad ...

hai ... today a veri busy day ... but during break went in to see her blog ...
hai ... missing *** ... tot of her ... hai ... so go in see see pic loh ...
hai ...

in my mind everything is abt her ...
all i know is her ...
i tried to gif it up ...
seems unsuccessful ...
but i can only hide it ...
if not trouble will stir again ...

hai ...
it takes great courage to keep on acting ...
being a full time self employed actor is hard ...
especially when wanna act out a different emotion from ur heart ...

i am one of the actor ...
i rather be not ...
cos the actress wish to continue the show ...
so i have to follow ...

hihi bloggie ...

2004-09-22T23:29:00.000-07:00

haha lol ... today ... a gd day ba ...
haha ... morning went to sch ... afternoon like that first time step into shs lab ...
whah ...
the com haha ... lol ... no comments ...

will appreciate the com in our lab ... haha lol ...

haha ... spend nice time wif uma and gin ... hehe

haha abt the jokes ... hah life guards ... haha ... is cfm lol loh ... haha ...
especially uma's expression ...

haha later then went back to do proj wif friends ...

haha ... hmm today i will again ... blog wad i feel in song ...

haha ... first i going to complete the jie kou .... sth i didnt blog it up

the last part of jie kou ...
it say ...
ru guo yao zhong qi ni ji de wo ...
ru guo nan guo qing ni wang le wo ...

it means ..
if u realli wanna go pls remember me ...
if u feel pain and sad ... pls forget me ...
cos i want to best for u ...

haha ... then still got this song ... hai ... it say abt thing i refuse to say
or no chance and don wish to say ...

the song is
xin yang by prince of love song >> zhang xin zhe ...

if u got the song ... pls go listen to it ... u will know wad i feeling ...

but ... yet ... kibou dakeha shinjite ...

haha think i today write xin yang ...

......
everytime i hear of something familiar
it will bring back my memories
everytime i see the white moon
it reminds me of ur pretty face

i know i shld not think of it
and cannot think of it
but yet still think of u whos has made ma heart feel sour
make me think of u ... is u
i know those i shld not say ..
sway ur mind
.......
if that time i kiss u more that time i hug u tighter ...
maybe ending is different
i realli hope and pray for it do u know that ...
my love for u
is a veri clear veri strong believe
my love for u
is so warm so brave strength
i don care heart how pain ...
don care love for u how hard
don care wad others think

my love is a believe that will bring me close to ur side ...
...
...
...
my strength of my love for u
is coming from my soul my life ...
in the forever land u are like wind who have heard my shouting ...
love is a believe which bring u back to my side again
love is a believe which bring u back to my side again

yeah those are the part that say wad i saying ... hah ...

walking down to road str ... i know one day one the of sun will come and shine for me ...

A Raining Tuesday ...

2004-09-21T18:41:00.000-07:00

Today is a rainy day ...
haha lol ...

in the morning me woke up ... early ... yawns ... tired ... then

go help her do her blog ... haha ...
yeah ... brains thinks better in the morning ...
so do ur template is the morning .. haha ...
then prepare for sch ...

in sch ... haha ... we say later sure rain ...
suai suai we say correct ... cos my friend wanna go swimming wif her friend ... haha

lol ... then hai ... ya ...

i know outside raining ...
wondering how was it at the south side of singapore ...
but yet don wanna to disturb ma ...
but after that later .... i finally make m hand press the send button ...
haha lol ...
gd la ... got enjoy ...
dun get sick ...
dun wanna see her sick ...

hai ... then read yi wei blog ...
is was like a love novel by her ... haha .. she wrote till veri touch ...
veri touch my heart ...
hai ... but standing at her shoe ...
i can see wad actually her heart still wish hard for ...

some ppl might get their wish come true ... some may not ...
no one knows ...

today ... hear zhang xin zhe song call xing yang ...
hai ... it speak part of wad my inner heart wanna say
if u got the song go listen ...
...

i don know wad to do ... closing my eyes my walk all the way str ...

hope to still have u ... guilding me in the game of trust ...
i fully trusted u ...
first time in my life that my mind and heart can be at ease and can rest ...
but now this place is gone ...

jus like my friend's nick looking forward till the time where u and me can be close again ...

it take alot of courage to keep loving ...
appreciate this courage ... and keep it tight ...

Monday ... A Walk To Remember ...

2004-09-20T20:43:00.000-07:00

yeah ... bloggie ... wake up and listen to wad i have to say today ...
basically today is jus not a bad day ...
but morning the horoscope ... abit spoilt my mood ... haha ...

nvm ... shall see to it then ba ...
haha ... lol ... is not abt ma la ...

haha ...

okok today ... morning got a test ... not bad la ... shld be can pass it ba ...
onli study abit here and there nia ... haha ...

haha then before lunch ... omg ... stomach pain
batman .... in chinese pain ful sia ... pian fu xia ... haha ...

then went toilet ... then haha after that sms her ... then going for lunch wif them ...

haha i think i am the one who actually miss them most ba ... haha ...
haha then while waiting ... a aunty came tok to me ...
i was like kind of stunt ... haha ... to abt bags ... abt her daughter ...
omg ... i was like y u telling me all this ... haha ... abt she and her daughter buying ex bag and she complain ... haha ... lol ... heng
the call came ... haha ...

when saw then esp her ... delighted ... i was happy veri happy ...
ya after so long finally get to see them ... ya ...
then i smell her perfume ...
same old perfume ... but i like the smell ...
haha ... ya ... they ate lunch and they came to accompany moi ... haha ... i pass her the phone cover ... haha ... veri tight ...

hmm if don want then don put it loh ... is ok de ...
haha ...
when the tot of going back to study again ... and cannot see them again ...
i sian½ hai ... then hor ...
when reach there ... that stupid teacher late for 1 hour ...
wad the hell ... 1 hour can make alot of difference for me u know ...
arghs ... then after that spend another 1 hour telling her wad we done ...
which is not for her module ...
she is jus know how to tok but don know her teaching stuff ...
hai ...
i keep giving faces to my friend when presenting ....

hai ...

then today ... in finance class ... hai ... wrote 2 poem ...
hai don think is suitable to put it up ba ...
cos will cos alot of stir ...
ya ... hiding the fact ...
hai ... nvm ...

not back back at home ... telling my blog all this ... reminds me also i got proj to do also ...
sad ... no mood ...

hai .. i i i jus wanna ...
ha forget it ...

last Paragraph ... A Walk To Remember Featuring Mandy Moore & Jonathan Foreman Singing
SomeDay We'll Know ...

is A love story ... they seperated for some reason ..
then hu know when is was like they feel everything is impossible ...
but somehow ... love brought them back again ...
yeah .. a super touching show ...
jus the advertisement an the mtv has touch my heart ...
a veri long time show la ... haha ...

ya ...
mission impossible ????
nth is impossible ???

weee ... at least a busy day to keep my mind busy

2004-09-20T00:29:00.000-07:00

wee haha yeah ... as u can see bloggie ... my nick ...
ok la not realli busy day la ...

haha morning wake
hai ... nth to do ... play abit of game loh ...

then went out for dewu board meeting ...
cos we are organising a annually function at the end of the year ... is like 2 more months nia ... haha ...

yeah ... but before that we got a moon cake festival ...
omg man ..
i am the script writer and i am chang er ... AGAIN ...
sian ... sian ... the next sunday loh ... wa kao ... hai ...
nvm will do my best ...

haha today trainign as usually ... jus tat when in car ...
listen to my friends cd ...
hai an jing by jay ... yong qi by liang jing ru ... and alot more ...
all toks abt my heart ... i listen liao .. hai ... look outside the window .. and try not to think of anything ...

haha guess wad ... after that ... she called me ...
wow shock ...
ooo is wei wei la ... haha ... she wanna join wushu ... whaha ...

lol ... hai ... abt the blog thing nvm ... don wanna say much also ...
breaks heart ... kind of sad to hear it ... but is ok la ...
nth can be done ...
haha but i was happi la ... haha ... real smile of the day ... excited also ... haha ...

joining wushu is good .. yeah ... but still not cfm la ...
is still up to them to decide ... haha ...
i can onli pyscho ... hehe ...

wei wei ... come join wushu ... wei wei come join us in wushu ...
wei wei wei wei wei wei wei wei .... hehehehehe lol ...

okok la ... i shall stop for today ... haha ...

jay's song speaks my heart ... qi li xiang's third song jie kou ...

Pls read translation .... yeah ... read ...

ye she ni yi jing fang qi wo
ye she yi jing heng nan hui tou ...
wo zhi dao shi zhi ji chuo guo ...
qing zai gei wo yi ge li you shuo ni bu ai wo ...
jiu shuan zhe wo bu dong
nen bu nen yuan liang wo
qing bu yao ba feng shuo dang zhuo ni de qing qiu ...
wo zhi dao ni jian chi yao zou
qing ni shuo ge jie kou
qing ni hui tou wo hui pei ni yi zhi zou dao zui hou

jiu shuan mei you jie guo
wo ye nen gou chen shou
wo zhi dao ni de tong
shi wo ge de chen nuo
.....
....
ru guo yao zou
qing ni ji de wo ...

maybe you have given me up
maybe is hard to turn back now
i know is i miss the chance
pls gif me a reason again saying u don love me

even if i don know wad it means
can u forgive me
pls don take break up this word as a veri easy to say word
i know if u insist of going
pls gif me a excuse
pls turn back i will accompany u till the end

even if there is no ending for us ...
i will also be mature enuff
i know ur pain
is cos of my promise and words ...
....
...
..
if u wanna go ...
PLS REMEMBER ME ...

hmm today ...

2004-09-18T23:58:00.000-07:00

hmm today woke up in the morning ...
not realli tired ...

went online ... wee ... haha ... play abit of game then chiong proj...

hehe ... then she went offline ... mei went out ... hai so sian

haha then walk here and there ... cook mee ...
hai buai tahan ...
so bored ... so i go training loh ... haha cos after that can go shi fu hse play those cute small dogs ... haha .. i love them ...

haha then at night went training again ... hai ... release all my accmulated stress ..
at least when i am at wushu ... my head wont think that much ...

ya wont think that much ... hai ...

haha ya .. then hor i came home ... yupee ... haha ... first thing ....
still same like last ime went to see her blog ...
wa... so nice the pics ... haha ... dress till so nice ...
then red hat match her sia ... haha lol ...
hehe ... lol .. then tok to my training mate (female) who is on the same plight boat as me ... haha ...

Wan86:"Still Slow Transfering from human RAM memory to treasure box, to heart and to permanent memory"

lol .. .slow transfer rate ... hope wont got mix up or force to cancel the transfer before it is finish ...

a happier day ...

2004-09-17T16:57:00.000-07:00

yos yos ... bloggie ..
u know hor ...
i been asking myself ...

i feeli like asking if ...
if there is a single chance if we can still be together ...
i jus wan a veri clear and str forward ans ...
must be truthful of cos ...

me now is in a state where my mind is clear ...
my sense of direction is back ...

i am not lost now ...
i wanna lead wanna take charge of my own life again ...
jus wanna know if there is a even a single chance we may walk side by side again ...

not infront of me not behind me but beside me ...

i need an ans ...

but thinking back wad u told me i think i know the ans ... but yet i do not wish to hear it ...

i need ur true heart words ...
not mouth words ...
for jus this once ... go wif ur heart and tell me the ans ...
thank you ...
if is still the same ... i jus wanna hear it one more time ...
if it is still the same ... can i gif u the last hug ... the last ever gd bye kiss i will gif u ...
a kiss gone forever ...

hehe ... hehe**

today ... found that dang ni gu dan ni hui xiang qi shui ... by nicholas teo ...haha
nice song ...
today hear alof of song that describe my heart's feeling ... haha lol ...
hai ...

but is always hard to see the one u love loving others ...

but if thats the fact i got to accept to pain it cos to me ... and live bravely with it ...

loving u is sth i never regret ...

clear mind clear thinking

2004-09-16T19:23:00.000-07:00

yeah ... thx to third mei ...

haha i know which direction i shld go liao ...

haha ... ya ... i shld try my veri best to do things i i know
i will not regret in the future ...

hehe ... fight for wa u want and wad u like ...
if it meant to be urs it is urs ...
if not urs is not urs ...

if i fail ... i will let go ...
let it pursure other dreams ...

if i succeed i will make the best of out everything ...
make it the best thing that will ever happen ...

yeah ...
looking good ... haha ...

may god be wise to make wiser desicion ...

dun feel like writing

2004-09-16T00:18:00.000-07:00

think tml when i got cooler head then i blog ...

bad feeling ... mix feeling ... worst feeling a guy will ever feel ...

wanna say ...
one word from u means heaven and earth for me ...

i still love u alot ...

I got to start to chase her back ...

Second blog of the day

2004-09-14T21:54:00.000-07:00

yo bloggy i am back ...

haha ...
today hor ... me and friends went play table tennis wor ...
haha they all pro leh ...
thats y is so fun playing ... haha ...
yeah haha ... lots of fun ...
haha ... i so long no play liao
got 3 to 4 years no play liao ...
my skill still not bad wor ...
haha ... i am a multi sports person ... haha ...

ya then ... so tired ... went lect ...
then me and friends siao liao ...
we went to sit at the first row ...
haha ... is lol loh ...
the lecturer say ... so rare ...
and we are going to taste his saliva liao ...
eee so gross ... lol ...
haha ... we four at the front ... actually took turns to slp liao ..
then hor my friend beside me slp till mouth open so big ...
got sound some more ...
and cher beside him nia ...
then i woke him up ... haha ...
cant imagine ... slpin in front of tutor eyes ...

haha ... then when going to half time break ... wahah .. sms ... haha ...
delights of the day wor ... haha ...
then at break time went home le ...
his first row gone ... haha
lol ...
hmm she say she going to meet friend ... he got prob ...
wahahah ...
okok ...

ya ... think they now still toking or going home liao le ...
hai ... nvm ...

told her to take care ...
then i waiting for her online ...

...when u care for that person ... every little things mean alot to u ...

haha one more person to dote on

2004-09-14T09:56:00.000-07:00

haha haha ...
yupee ..
by chance got to know a sec 2 girl ... who do wushu too ...
haha ... chatted wif her ...
wa veri happy go lucky type also ...

haha ... guess wad ... haha she wanna become my mei mei wor ..
haha okok ic ... gd also ...

at first onli jus take her as chat mate ....
wahah ... be my sis also gd ... got more ppl to dote on also ...
haha ... lol ...

i love having sisters ....
yeah ... cute sister ... hehe ... haha ...
haha ...

hai then in the morning ...
i called her ... wa she so awake ...
hmm then she not slp yet ...
hai yo ... think she build her castle till too late liao le la ..
also cannot blame her for building the castle ...
got to dote the hammi also ma ...

haha but hai ... she didnt catch some slp then got to work ...
hope she got the energy ...
xin teng

hai ... jus hope that her day will be a gd one ...

okok i shall end here ... gtg pom and go sch liao ...

how can i resist my heart ...

A Day Silence Killed Moi

2004-09-13T19:56:00.000-07:00

good evening bloggie ... today came in blog early ...
tell u hor ...
hai ...
today was a day where everything was silence in my life
and these silence nearly drown me ...

wad can i do ...
i jus feel like crying ...
this kind of feeling is hard to bear ...

cry cry cry ... is that all i could do ...
ans is no ... thats y i didnt ...
i jus kept quiet ... bear it in silence ...

then at ard 455 like that ... we went south canteen ... saw nurse ...
excited abit ...
but saw is others ...
mood went back again ...

everytime i see a nurse i cant stop think of her again ...
twice i am at the end where i was broken hard ...
this was the hardest ...

now ... right now ... how i wish i don need to think of anything ...
and jus let me
fall in to a battlefield ...
arm wif axe and sword ....
fight it out ...
release some stress ...

after so much things ... i can say i can get jealous at times ...
but i do know how to think and control ...

hai ya ... blog ... wad have i type ...
don know wad the hell have i type ...

bloggy help me ...
help me ...

A Day Out Of Home ...

2004-09-12T23:59:00.000-07:00

wahah ... hmm .. yesterday didnt say much ...
haha yeah went east coast ..
haha shoik ... see sea ...
haha ... then ride bike ... haha ... quite fun la ... friends ... playing ...
enjoying ...
hahah ...
then hor when we on the way to the lan shop ...
my friend suggest say before my 2 friend go army ...
go chiong leh ...
haha i excited sia ...
feel like going also ...
haha i first timer ...
hehe lol ...

hmm wanna try also ...

haha lol ... see la ... will have chance de ...

then went to lan shop piang piang ...

then i went off early cos later got anniversary dinner at sec sch ...

yeah at there liao ...
met up alot of old clasmate ...
haha have a great dinner ...
yummp ...
is a buffer la ...
me ate ...
3 roti prata ... 2 palte of chicken rice ... i plate of kuay tiao erm ...
5 rolls of the wad u call that ...(sth like spring roll but it is the one strip of veg) haha then still got satay ...
wahaha so full sia ... song ...
then we class went walk walk ... and went into a empty class...
the suddenly our fav form teacher walk pass ... came in and tok to us ...
and before she went off ...
we class stand class greet ...
wa she say she was touch ...
i am too ...
this kind of feeling ...
again comes into my heart ...
wa ...u know 2 years ... it has been 2 years plus liao ...
song song ...

haha ... now today ... hai yo ... morning woke up ...
no ppl in msn so sian ...
heng bro let me see alien vs predator ..

nice show sia ... real nice ...
haha ...

haha then went to my club hse ... where we got the 7 month pray pray ...
hehe to food is yummy ...
haha 2 day big eating ... wah ...
think will grow fat abit ... haha ... can feel the heavy weight in moi ...
haha ... lol ...
then me and friends were last to go ma ... then downstairs ...
got a old aunty ... come up complain ... we bo chap her ...
ai ya ... is cos the burned paper flew to her stairs there ...
wa lao she didnt bye the stairs there ma ...
and also wind blow how can we control ...
jus a bastard ... haha ... hai ... nvm ... then ooo no ...
stomach abit pain liao ...
heng is abit nia ...
haha ... lol ...
then uncle tong bang us to jurong ...
haha ...
uncle got a daughter ... i think k2 or pri 1 ...
she veri cute ..
she always see me always shy shy de ...
is jus me onli ...
last time she even worst ... more shy ...
uncle told me is ...
got once i teach her gong li quan ...
then i like mei mei ma ... so i ask her intro her name ...
i know hers liao la ... then i intro mine ...
must communicate wif student ... haha ...
then uncle say ... she go home keep ... chanting ...
guangyao kor kor ... and guangyao kor kor jiao wo gong li quan ...
wahaha so cute ... she chanted for a week ...

haha ... since that session onwards she veri shy ...
haha then she always see me wif that eyes ...
those ... like an lian eyes ... but hor ...
must admit ... her eyes can gif eletricity ...
haha ... then today in car when in ... haha she look at me again ...
haha then look back at her eyes la ...
haha ... haha if can let me dote her ...
haha realli want a mei mei ... like her like tat ...
then hor ... she got xin ge ... means got characte type ...
haha ... haha lol ... then training as usual ... then uncle send us home again ...
i was in car liao ... then she came in ... again look at me again .. haha ...
forget hu last time say ... scar li she fall for me ...
haha lol ... i say siao ... she so young ... be my mei mei ... then better ...
will love and protect her wif my life .. haha ...
haha ... hai nvm ...
come back to home ... wa i wrote alot liao le wor ... yawns ... tired ...

I Once Met A Girl That I Truely Love & Truely Love The Girl That I Once Met

Once i gif out my heart ... i will never take it back ...

god

2004-09-11T22:48:00.000-07:00

i dun dare to carry any hope ..
but i know i still love her ...
no one can change a person feeling
especaill love ...

wad can i do ...
i am a tired man ...
waiting for his slp
a slp forever ...
cos there is nth
worth for him to keep
his eyes open ...

a cold heart ...
freezing to death ...
jus a matchstick lighted up
even in that veri winter ..
it gives hope ...
my match stick is all gone and used up ...
my onli warm light and hope is from the sky ...
from the god .. from my fate ... from my time ...
hope that these light will bring me thru the times ...
and let me see that veri same rainbow again ...
or god wont take me to another place ...
a place where no lover will wanna go ...
the broken land ...

god lead me the way ...
which ever way u lead me to ...
to hell to reborn to to relive me ...
jus do it ...
when i open my eyes ... i will walk this road blindly
never look back wad road u chose for me ...
until the day when i finish the road and saw the ending ...
then i will know which road was it ...

reborn is to get new live ...
to hell is to continue to suffer in silence ...
to relive me is to gif me second chance ...

closing my eyes now ...

time can change feeling ...
to and fro ... gone and back ...
is totally reversible ...

times tells me so ...

...

2004-09-11T09:17:00.000-07:00

LovE StArT WItH A SmiLe, GrOw WiTh A KiSs, aNd EnD WiTh A TeArS. DoNt CrY OvEr AnY OnE WhO WoNt crY OvEr YoU. WaT Do U Do If ThE OnLy PeRsOn Who CaN MaKe U SToP CrYiNg Is ThE PeRsOn Who Make u CrY? If LoVe Isn'T a Game, WhY R dErE So MAnY PlAyErs? A KiSs Is JuSt A kIss unTil U FInD ThE OnE U LoVe. ThE HaRdEsT ThInG To Do Is To WaTCh ThE OnE U LoVe loVe SoMe OnE ElSe.. NobOdY Is PeRfEcT UnTil U FaLL In LoVe WiTh ThEm.. iT iS HaRd tO LeAvE De oNe u tRuLy LoVe.. wOrD iS CrUeL, lOvE Is bLiNe. LoSt iN SaDdNeSs, BlUr iN MiNd. HeArT hAs bRoKeN, fLaMe hAd dIeD. tImE HaS PaSs n u r nOt mInE.. +`[(_`-Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear..-`_)]`+ +`[(_`-nOtHiNg HuRtS mOrE tHaN rEaLiSiNg He MeAnT eVeRyThInG tO yOu BuT yOu MeAnT nOtHiNg To HiM....-`_)]`+ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ThOuGh A FailuRe iN loVe I Am, BuT gOoD FriEnDs rEaChEd oUt tHeiR hAnDs, TeLliNg mE, I nOe u cAn, TAkE mY hAnD n Up u sTaN

haha took from yi wei bloggie ... sound nice ... haha
so copy it loh ...

hai ... bloggie sry today i don feel like writing wad i feel ...
no point too ... i came back here is cos i still treat u as my close friend ...
cos after all u know wad n howm y heart things and know my heart matter liao ...
jus today i choose to tell u late half of the day ..

dun worry dear bloggie i will keep u updated ...

hello bloggie u there ... tok to me reply me ...
hai nvm ...bye bye ... i hate my life

A morning of codes ...

2004-09-09T23:17:00.000-07:00

yos yos ...
haha morning at 8 woke up call her ... haha ...
i think i alarm myself ... wahaha ... lol ...
she went back to slp ...
heng she slp ...
cos she is sick again ...

then i straight went open com and log on to diaryland to study codes liao ...

haha ...
fresh mind ... thats wad i need ... i analyse ...
then i conclude there is no prob here ...
pro lies somewher ...
then i try to "hack" her acct
haha cos i forget her password ... haha
then bo bian ... i create a new diaryland call tryingland ... haha
cos i got her script ma ... so is ok ...
then try try try ... till ard 2 hours plus later ...
haha head nearly going to blow up ...
also cos of the server so busy ... hai ...
the brain is like time bomb ... ready to blow off at top anytime ...
haha ... then
huang tian bu fu you xin ren ...
i finally understand wad the programmer is trying to do ... so ...
haha .. got the trick ... then
everything wasnt smooth ... keep kanna the server busy ... lol ...
haha ... heng the main problem was solved ...
now left those not so big problem which she is now clever enuff to solved liao ...
proud of her haha ...
learning ...
yeah ...
then in sch ... wahah ... did even more programming ... asp.net ... wahah ...
quite smoothing ... then ai yo ... now then remember ... tml got biz comm test ...
wahah haven study yet ... haha eng letter writing like ... hai sure fail ... sian ...
haha ... then when reach home straight away do project till ard 9 like that jus nice ... haha ... now ... smelling the air in my room ... feeling less sick but nose still abit block ..

pray to god that she get well after tonight slp ...
she is a bai yi tian shi that need to care for patients ...
god bless her ...
waiting ... for her ... in everything ... every mins counts ...

sick ... veri sick ..

2004-09-08T23:55:00.000-07:00

hai yo ...ar ha choo............

i think got ard 30 plus times today ...
realli buai tahan ...
the nose ... alot of "water"

hai ya ... sian day ... went to sch found out lesson cancel ... slack for 2 hrs loh ... hai ... i am so sick ...
then went for seminar ... haha ... walk off half way ...

then later went to take the refreshment secretly ...
cos not yet started .. wa heng sia ...
jus as me shir and jo abt to walk off ...
4 lectures turn in ...
wa heng loh ...
but the food suc la ...
not nice ...
hai ... then later went for wushu ...
played arm wrestling ... hehe ... i won my friends ... jus draw wif another big guy ...
i strong wor ... stronger then ppl older then me ... hehe .... happi ...
haha ... then went for training ... didnt do much ...
sick ma ... when wanna jump the "water" in my nose like wanna fly out like that ...
eee er xin ... gross ... ya gross ... that me hor ... ***
haha but it didnt flew la ... i kept it inside ...

haha then when class going to end ... hai saw sms ... not from her ... but from others ...
hai ... sian ...
then agree to go amk wif seniors ... tok alot ... then yeah yupee ... sms came ... i tot is that person asking for performance sms me again ... hey this time different ...
my eyes brighten up wor ... hehe ...
haha lol ... then fast fast went home ...
and ta da here i am ...
hai today i listen to jue ding ai ni by vivian hsu ...
like the lyrics ...
it goes ...
one day i will sure get wad i have been waiting ...
that smile of my life ...

haha yeah ...
i never knew why i was deep into her ...
from me last time ... i would have gif up easily ...
i think love ba ... is her that change me ...
yeah my friend say so too ...
that my love for her ...
chi qi person ba ...

okok end my blog here for today ba ... hehe ...
muacks ***

yawns ... hehe nice tue evening and night ...

2004-09-07T21:25:00.000-07:00

bloggie ...
hehe ...

today ... didnt went for night class ...

haha ... ai ya ... go hor i also no study ...
then in sch veri sick ...
heart sick so make me physically more sick ...
haha so went home loh ...
bath ok liao ... so song ... then fast fast go online ...
yeah saw her ....
haha ... feeling good ... like the sickness getting better liao ... haha ...

then tok to bai yi tian shi abt ah mas ...
the ah ma poor thing ...
hai ...

i last time was a volunteer ...
last time don know wher to help in ...
now i know liao ... if next time i got chance i know wher to go ...
maybe kk is a good choice ... can see baby ...
haha ... i love baby ... haha ...

lol ... okok ... then today ... hai saw mei's blog ...
at wild wild wet there ... haha ... decided to help her ...
think will meet her up there go buy ba ... haha ... lol ...

the weidi also ... hai ... if he intend to bully her ...
he this time siao liao ...

haha ... a note to uma and mel ... pls update ur blog often ...
is rotting liao ... haha ...
interested to know wad happen in ur hospital ... haha ...
...
lol ..

hai ...my nose ... cannot touch water ... touch water is sneeze ... haha ...
haha bo bian ... hope i will get better ...
cos when i sick my pimples will come out ... hai ...

taking care of myself ...

chuan dao qiao tuo zhi ran zi
loving a always ...

in labby now ...

2004-09-07T13:59:00.000-07:00

arghs ...

bloggie ...
wo heng xiang ta ...
wo de xin heng pa ...
i am scare ...
scare to lose her ...
my heart is missin her deeply ...

i need her ... need her right now ...

i i i ...

i luv her alot and alot and alot ...

jus too much to use words to describe ...

every alarm i gave her ... is her that gif the strength to wake and call her ...

...

hai ya ...going for next lesson liao ...
...
i am missing her in my life ...

wad kind of monday is today ...

2004-09-07T00:30:00.000-07:00

wad is going on ...

hai yo ...
i realli don know wad to blog today ... realli don know wad to say ...

theres a thousand words to say yet i don know how and wher to start ...

my heart is feeling all luan ... i know she is too ... veri luan ...
i understand ...

wads the ending will be like ...
love is selfish ...
wad can i say ...

saw her mood ... is tong zai xin li ...
wo bu yao duo shuo le ...
wo yao orh orh le ...
need to calm down to think ...
ming tian ... yao zao qi ...
wei le ai ... wo yuan yi wei ni de yi qie ...

strive and believe in wad u love ...
my love ... thats u ...

a day i call sunday ...

2004-09-05T23:41:00.000-07:00

today ...

today ...

let me collect me feeling ...

ok i start last night ...

hmm sms alot of things ... then
when she never reply ...
i don dare to sms her le ...
i know is limit le ...
hai ... i was totally awake last night ...
then i sms my mei ... cos i in need a friend to seek to ...
heng she not yet slp ...
thank god ...
then she quan me to slp ...
hai ... i promise her ...
but still feel no good ...
empty stomach also ... so force myself to eat sth ...
if not if i weak how i handle myself and others ...

i told mei ...
i try to have fun wif friends ... try to get to know new friend ...
but i know i am tao bi nia ...
when i alone ...
i start to think of her again ...
and each time i bleed more and more ...

even jus now in uncle car ...i look at the sky ... thinking again ...
look at my friend then i pretend to slp ... hai ...
then i pull my guy friend shoulder to lean on ...
i feel alone ... feel cold ... mai huo cai de xiao nue hai ...

no one knows wad is going to happen in future ...
tresure everything now ...
and not ... keep thinking that next time u will do this or that ...
nth is greater then giving ur love to the other one u love ...

pls hold it on tight ...
will u pls hold it too ...
i believe this is also a obstacle
sth like the prince faced ...
i will strive and believe in wad i want ...
i believe in striving ...
i strive for my believe ...
i know wad i want ... i truely know wad i want ...
i am clear i am wake ...
pls think it over ...

i dun want to carry this heavy burden anymore ... onli u can lighten it ...

word of the day : striving to get wad i believe in ...

wad is happening to me

2004-09-04T23:03:00.000-07:00

bloggy save me ...

i mentally too stress out liao ...

hai ...
today went to sch see friend bandsout ... gd that they won second ...
congrats ...

then later went mac eat ... didnt eat my second lunch ...
don feel like eating again ...
i aet my lunch at 3 plus like that ...

then went back home on the way ... saw a van full of uv light ... then u look at it ..
like sth poke into my eye ... then i partially blind ...
feel so terrible ...
then started to feel abit giddy ...
reach home ... straight go bath ...
bath hor liao ... started to worst ... comes right side headache ... and wanna feel like vomiting ...
first is me inside shaking ...
like i fear sth and feeling no good like that ...

migrain is it how that spell ... second time i got migrain like headache and second time i partially blind ...

feel terrible ...
my head already pain liao ... now making it worst ... but nvm ...
will tahan ...

bloggy ... i am feel ok alright ... but but i i i ... hai ...
moi love her ... *** love hu ....

arghs ... don know .. i need some rest liao ...
before i go i wanna say some words to her ...
but yet ... yet ... i don know ...
i love u ... wo tai ai ni le ...
na ni ne ???
ni xin li mei you wo ma ...

signing off ... feeling veri weak liao ... buai buai ... take care muacks ..

A *** Sat Morning ...

2004-09-04T11:47:00.000-07:00

Wake up wake up ... early in the morning ... woke up by my bro noise ...
went to mum roon to slp .. like last week but this time wil a different feeling ...
my heart so *** ... hai ... slp slp onli manage another 1 hr of slp ... turn here turn there ...
there is onli sth some one in my mind ...
so i sms her ... wishing her good ...
yeah ... then continue lying ...

i feel veri fan sian ... hate myself ...
no one home ...
i shouted out loud ...
doesnt realli feel better ... come msn no one tok ...
realli bored ...
when i need ppl there isnt any ...
at times onli ...

something to keep me busy in my brain ...
cant play game ...
cant do anything at home ...
expect lie on bed and think ...

i tot of alot ...
my final conclusion ...
i still love her alot ...
now clinging on to every hope wif my everything ...
my life on it ...

hai ... now tok to bloggy ... wad i feel ...
feeling better ...
but still nth to do ...
later at 5 going nyp cos yi da got bandsout ... wish him luck ...
we are buddies ... support u all the way ...

good thing in my wushu life ... i got 2 good buddies ... jin fu and zi wei ...
realli good friends ...
last time is they 2 nia ..
then when i join poly ... i was accepted into their grp ...
yeah became wushu buddy ... haha sparing also together ... haha ...

but sad ... zw in ns ... jf going soon ...
i will miss them ...
my weekdays will be veri bored without them ...
hai ... arghs ... don know la ...

things arent going wad i want it to be ...
guess last week is high week ... now is low week ... soon
ya soon will be high week again ...
realli hope so ...

i cant accept a sad gy ...
but i am now ...

kibou dakeha shinjite
(believe in hope)

yeah thats wad i learn in vandread anime ...
i learn and master alot of moral from anime ...
yeah ...

word of the day ... kibou dakeha shinjite (believe in hope)

y like that ... diaryland

2004-09-04T01:11:00.000-07:00

hai ...
in the after noon of friday...
prepare to go out ... then wait for mum's fried rice ...
went to bed rest ... hai madly think of her again ...
miss her alot ... but don dare say it ... onli can tell bloggy ...

then go training ... nth much ...
then training finish ...
suddenly nose sneeze then right eyes jump few time ...
don know why ... hai is suddely loh ... then go eat sth ... go train home ...

in train i am kind of sad sian and tired not sleepy at all ...
then when sms came ... was so happy ... haha ... i didnt dare to sms her at first ...
cos scare say wrong words ... hai ...
i am so idoitic ... so stupid ... so ... hai ya don know la ...

then back at home ... diaryland got server problem ... i was so sad ...
sob sob ...
cant read anything ...

hai .. don think of writing liao ...
hai ...

wondering if she will come back to moi even if feeling return ...
sad sob ...

hai shi seng seng de ai zhe ni ...
wo xiang xin ni ye shi ...
bu yao zhe yang xia qu le hao bu hao ...
bu nen mei you ni ...

My friday at home ...

2004-09-03T13:06:00.000-07:00

morning at 6 woke up called her ... arghs she went back to slp ...
angry ... next time must call twice ... hai ...

then at ard 10 like that she sms again ... having a talk ... she is sian ...
haha lol ... baby talk ... talk abt baby ...
wahah ... continue ms wif her till haha think finally ended ...
then she cannot sms le ...
then left me bored here ... really realli bored ...
sian like hell ...
hai ...
then slack here and there till going to 1 o clock which is coming soon from now ..
hai ... sms her that finally she can go lunch ... cos she no eat breakfast ... and she was super cold
poor her ... xin teng ...
hai ... heart pain say liao also no use ...
jus sms her abt can go lunch ... waiting for her to reply ...

so sian ... my brain n mind nth to do but jus miss and think of ***

haha she reply liao ... yeah ...

i still love u still think of u ...
undescribable feeling ...

read ur blog ... calm down from wed to friday ...

hmm ... been thinking alot ...
still hoping we can be together again ...
this time ... it will be better ...
i know ... i learn from mistake ...
i swear ...

word of the day ... learn to think and take things simple and easy ...
think too much will complicate things ... yeah ... muacks ....***

Aftermath

2004-09-03T10:25:00.000-07:00

Last night went i went to bed ...
sms ...
the poem i worte ...
she say it was the best one she had ...

:)i say thank you ... but yet i cried ...
cried painfully ...
don know for how long ... i then manage to sleep ...

morning i woke at 6 ... wanna call ... wanna sms ...
but jus don know if i shld ... then gave up the idea ...
at 8 woke up again ... no strength to sit up ...
basically no energy ... jus so empty inside me ...
but yet the weight in all inside me ...

cried ... cried ...
i don know wo bu zhi dao ...
still pinning on the last hope ...
...
i don know wad to do now ...
don feel like doing anything ...
wad on earth is going on ...

my heart has her ... onli her onli ... and no one else ...

:'(
:''(

in the morning the rain came when i woke ...
seems god was crying wif me ...

don wish this to be the end ........

A Story of a Sheep

2004-09-03T00:17:00.000-07:00

Bahhhhhhh

thats wad a sheep would say ...

here is a story of a lost sheep ...

once upon a time there is a sheep lost from his grp ..
he walk further and further from his grp ...
he was sad at first but slowly got use to it ...
then he met a saviour that he feel will bring him back to his grp ...
or bring him to join a new grp ...
so he follow the saviour footstep ... followed behind her ...
but the saviour suddenly disappear out of no wher cos the saviour's god don
allow a lost sheep to follow the saviour ... but the saviour feel no good ...
felt alot of things ... then the saviour went back to find the sheep ...
there .... when to sheep saw the saviour he was delighted ...
again the sheep followed the footstep again ...
as they walk and walk and walk ... the saviour dun wanna help this sheep anymore ...
cos the saviour felt nth for this sheep why shld the sheep worth the saviours help .
he disappear again ...
poor sheep ... back to square one twice ... but standing on a different ground ...
having learn how to keep his emotion ... the sheep ... sat there ... watch the heaven ... look down on earth and ask o grandfather ... o grandfather is the time ... every step he run on a stairs is every sec pass on earth ...
the sheep ask ... y are u running so slow ...

the sheep was sad ... he know that the saviour most probably will not come back ...
but he still pinning on a little hope on the saviour ... but he also knew ... he will fall greater the more he hope ...

he hid his feeling ... he didnt cried as much as the first time ...
he learn how to control ... but yet ... he feels the pain ...

a piece of broken heart breaking another time ...

twice ... twice in my life i didnt manage to let my blog lives ...
wad is the meaning of me blogging again ... for me , the sheep , or for the saviour ...

i don know ... i onli know ... god played me a fool on myself ...
god make me realise how weak and vulnerable i am ...
but yet i chose to believe i will not be hurt as i grow stronger ...
i chose to believe in a truth that i grow stronger to be broken into even smaller pieces ...

how i wish this is a dream ...
when i wake up i will sit on the dinning table eating breakfast and telling everybody that i had the strangest dream in my life ...

maybe a coma will be good for me now ...
ppl always say ... when a person in coma ... is he choose to wake up or not ...
as for me ... i will choose to slp ... cos i don dare to face the fact that how would i face myself ... the saviour and the world ... ...

i am a aqurian fish lost in the big ocean ...

i don wish to post this up ... wish for myself to read ... but yet ...
i don know la ... god damn it ... i don know la ... i wanna hide ...
probably in the darkest corner of the world ... wher on one will see me ...
then i will not affect anyone and no one will affect me ...

how can i learn to let my hand open to let go ...
cant ... can i ... i don feel like but i think time will tells
maybe time will call big guys to free my hand ...
maybe time will shut my hand up tight ...

maybe maybe ... since small i hate the word maybe
ru guo ru guo since small i realli hater the word ru guo ...

i always say ru guo mei you ru guo ....

arghs ... i don know la ... can i kill myself ... god ...

The Morning On 1st of Sept

2004-09-01T10:28:00.000-07:00

hi bloggie ...
sry that i come find u so earli at this time ...
bo bian ... nth to do ...
no one to tok to ...
wake up in the morning ...
alarm sounded at 6 but didnt hear it
but don know why ... few mins later auto wake up ...
cos everytime before i slp i tell myself ...
must wake and call her ... repaet alot of times ...
then i will slp ... so manage to call her ...
she wake liao ...
gdgd ...

then went back to slp ...
then my new pem call ... tok nonsense ... hai ...
then i cant slp ... is 9 plus am ...
my heart since i wake is her onli ...
thinking of her ...
honestly ...
missing her madly ..
then i try think other things like competition stuff ...
haha useless ... finish thinking think of her again ...
wonder how is she now ... jus care abt her ...
better don sms her also ... cos she work ma ...
let her work wif peace ...

so i came here and tell my bloggie ... on onli friend left i can tok to ...

now pillow on the table ... labtop in front of moi ... looking at the key board heads on the pillow ... i typing this ...

wo heng ai ni ...
wo zai hu ni ...

learning how to control myself ...

3rd blog of the day ...

2004-08-31T23:35:00.000-07:00

guilty ... ashame ... sorry ...

sorry seems to be the hardest word

gomen ...
after reading ur blog ... i was like totally ashame of myself ...
don know wad to say ... lost for words ...
any one who see this ... must know ...
i did sth terrible wrong ...
sth i got to learn ...

told her i must learn to control my stickness also ...
and also don think too much ...
hate my brain ...
too good at think alot ...
in fact think too much ...
hate myself to the bottom ...
she say need time to recover ...
also heng got ly and the joyce talk to her ...
don know wad they tok ... but she say she was cheer up ...

feel i am the worst guy in this world ...
qian gu zui ren ...
thousand valley bottom guilty man ...

hai ... she say is over le ... haha ...
sth we learn abt each other ...
learn from mistake ...

ya ...
i miss her ... luv her ...
hope she will get will fast ...

i love her ... muacks ...

wanna say again

2004-08-31T20:35:00.000-07:00

...
i realli think i shld not say ...
but nvm ... say liao got to solve it ...

calming myself ... done ...
see the situation ... done ...

wanna say ...
u say it was 50 50 ... think i know ... ba ...

wanna say ... wo heng ai ni ... bu nen mei you ni
dan shi wo bu xiang rang ni bu kai xin ...
shuo cu lai ... wo zhuo de dao ...
wo hui zhuo ...

i love u alot ... u are my everything ... cannot dont have u ...
but yet i don want u feel no good and unhappy ...
say it out ... i will do wadever i can ...
to make this relationship even better ...

...

low sad unhappy

2004-08-31T19:31:00.000-07:00

wo bu kai xin ...

wad a day ... morning visit teachers ... so memorable ... hai ...

then i went home ... slpet for 10 mins ... went to amk ...

reach there waited for her ...
then saw her ...
saw she hungry ...
went to eat ...
hai ...

someone say me come for wad so BO LIAO ...
i came for her and was said bo liao ...

then went she post me a limitation ...
cannot send her home ...
i was ok at then ...

nvm then went gai gai ...
after that she don want me follow her home ...
she told me why ...
i already told u i go straight to mrt and u go home ...
y u still gif that kind of sian face to me ...
hurt me u know ...

sad veri sad ... went straight ...
that road was veri quiet ...
she has the sian look on her face ...
i was fan veri fan ...

then saw her walk home ...
i sat at the bridge ther for 15 min ...
waiting for a sms ... a sms wishing me gd bye ...
that will make me feel everything is alright all is ok ...
didnt ... 15 mins pass ... sms came ...
hai ... was my friend ...
i felt veri sad
veri
then went off to mrt ...

sat on the mrt floor looking at the floor think alot of thingsss ...
the more i think the more i became fan ...

i felt my presence wasnt appreciated ...
it make me feel i was a sticky tape ...
liam ...
maybe i shldnt have come at all ... shld have slept in bed all the way ...
or maybe i shld get knock down by car ...
coma forever till my death time comes ...
i am veri sad ...

shld i go tml ... i don know ... god tell me ...
i am not going to see her next week ...
i am planning to go find her at times ...
but later she say i bo liao how ...
i will be despare ...

i am feeling i am a worthless guy ...
when guys don treasure the one they say they love ...
girls say guys are bad ...

but i am treasuring the one i love ...
yet i am feeling that all this is wad i shld gif ...

wads is wrong wif me ...
i don know ...

i am feeling was i mean to u ...
maybe u are sick of seeing me ...
maybe one day u will get so sick of me that i shld exist in ur life anymore ...

wad on earth is this ...
pls tell me that i am wrong ...
pls tell me wad is it then ...

A Normal but happening day ...

2004-08-30T19:35:00.000-07:00

wahhaha ...

today a traveling day ...
morning wake up late at 10 plus ... then i think sian la ... slp
wake up wa 11 plus liao ... slowly bath then go out to sch do proj
reach liao ... buy mac spicy double to eat ... do half way proj they say go eat ... so eat then no do liao ... slack ... then go find some resources ...

then yeah 3 o clock plus abit liao ... go take train to bukit batok ...
haha go find her la ... she poor thing first day of attachment leg pain ... haha

slowly loh get use to it ...

haha ... hmm then walk abit buy popiah ... haha .. eat abit onli ... later dinner can eat also ... haha ... good ...
then bought sweet ... arghs ... kanna ban ... cannt eat sweet ... can onli
"smell" "see" haha but in the end ban lifted liao ... haha ... yupee ...

hehe ... then zoom ...
at stairs liao ... wahaha

hot passionate ***
..............
..............
then argh ... someone pop up ... her god dad .. wahahah ...
haha ok la heng he we clever ... haha ...
he got our ba bing liao ... wahaha ...
haha never let ppl bully u becos they got ur ba bing ...
no bullies will be tolerate ... muahaha ... haha lol ...

now at home in front of the com doing hw ...
my fav subject ... most fav tutor ... most fav hw ...
but arghs .. hungry ... got dinner ok liao ... but teacher u see i so good do hw then eat ...
haha ...

haha ...
okok la i buai tahan liao ... going to eat liao ... buai buai ...

521 1314
muack ...

A Normal but yet Lovely Day

2004-08-30T01:02:00.000-07:00

yos yos ... past nidnight writing this blog
burning midnight oil but yet i feel awake .
out in tis street under the big blue sky ..
thinking of you makes my heart got wild ...
you are the one for me and you know it ....
i love u like i will alway do forever .....
there is a ring tone just for u and me ....
there is a song jus for our cupid-heart ...
under tis bright moonlight i swear 2 god ..
i swear that i will always be there for u .
no matter what we r link by the name of god

haha suddeny feel like writing si or sth like that ...

haha ... specially made that that somebody ...
haha ... hmm today ... morning and afternoo nth much la ...
slp com slp tv ... then go wushu liao ... haha
went on mrt alone listen to mp3 ...
wa tell u hor at mrt damn to lan wif a guy ...
despo or pervert ... keep looking at a pretty or rather
good looking lady ard age 24 like that ... i can see the eye ball ..

wah kao ... keep looking ... i keep doing movement
to show i am disturbed and not please wif it ..
fianlly he notice it and reduce abit ... then the lady
also buai tahan ... stare back at him ... knn ...
if he dare do anything ...
i may me soft on him .. but my sword wont ...
use my sword beat him up like hell ...
pervert guy ... pui pui pui ...
then he finally got down ... phew good thing ... haha ...

hmm then continue to listen to mp3 ... haha
reach training grd ... haha today practice abit of the new
sword and sabra then teach kids on how to spar ...
haha they need to perform in sch .. so got to teach them loh ..
haha ... not a bad day la today ... haha ...
then reach eunos went to eat sth wif friend ... haha yummy ..
then went home yawns ... then promise some one to write blog ... haha ..
there here i came ... this is my blog ...
haha my blog for ya ...
quite long liao la ... haha ... lol

okok going to slp liao if not tml cant wake u up ... haha

buai night ... tctc ... miss ya ...

A Fun and Loving Day Out at Down Town East ...

2004-08-28T21:32:00.000-07:00

yos ... morning went to mum bed to slp ... cos bro using room then the powder smell arghs cant slp ... haha then hor ard 11 like that someone call me say boring liao ... wanna go out ...
haha then hor suggested go down town east the excape there ... haha ... wa ex wor ... pay for 3 person price ... hai ... nvm ... waiting for mel to pay hehe ...

haha i onli pay for her wor ... haha ...

okok went in liao ... haha ... then the first one is the turn turn turn ...
wor the motion is still in moi ... haha ... spinning ... spin till abit gong liao ...

haha ... then hor next also turn .. this time is the front back swing plus turn turn turn ...

haha ... baui tahan ... realli giddy ... abit like wanna vomit liao ... haha ...

then hor haha ... song go the go kart ... haha ... moi first one ... went speeding all the way ... press oil all the way ... haha ... then hor when we were queue ... haha got a sg kid and a ang moh kid ... before that they were racing ... then the sg kid lost ... he angry ... when going to parking ... hah he bang into him ... haha ... then they like stare at each other ... haha ... hai sg character ... haha ...

then the ang moh also like lan lan ... haha ...

then next hmm ... let me think ... ya is the wild and wet ... haha ... big splash ... haha i didnt went cos cannot bring bag then hor i so stupid got locker ma ... haha. .. but nvm see them enjoy i also happy ... haha ... took photo for them ... haha ... running here and there to take pic for them ... haha sweat liao ... and they both abit wet liao ... haha ...

haha guess wad alpha8 was finally open ...yeah ... haha ... indoor roller coaster ... haha so shoik ... haha ... good turn ... i actually can see the track ... so i know were it is going to go la ... haha ... the coaster was 3 lvl ... first is the top part turn left and right ... then second is up and down last is
......
of cos la get down the train loh ... haha ...

shoik ... shoik ... haha ... then hor ... went to ... erm ...abit forget ... yaya ... orange julius ... haha then both eat sandwhich ... hai the bk queue so long lazy ... and i not that hungry cos stomach got abit butterfly ... cant eat much also ... so don waste money ...

haha ... then slept awhile ... haha ... anyway the orange juice taste weird ...
i wont buy it again ... haha

then haha i see them play the front back swing and turn turn turn ... haha

haha gin was like not scare liao ... haha ... for me i cant la ... later half way vomit ... haha ... then haha last part was fun ... we went to sit ... kids roller coaster ... haha shoik wor ... haha ... then next is the wheel thing i think is ferris wheel ... haha wher u will turn up and up and up ... haha ... think the person siao ... gif us turn so long ... haha ... then hor ... haha i si ji her ...

si ji success ... first time fail ... haha ... okok la ... then the last one ... haha flying man turn ... i think cos got kids ... so they make it slow ... haha ...
is fun ... but hor at the last part whe it go slow ... i giddy liao ... veri giddy ... cannot open eyes ... haha ... then hehehe ... is like superman ... flying high ... haha ...

then hai ... end of day liao ... yaya heng no have the 360 turning ... haha scary man that one ... haha ... then yl was like keep complaining y don have i want that ...

haha ... lol ... then haha bo bian ... wanna go home liao ... so went off ... step out .. then someone say wanna wee wee ... then go the chalet there ... saw ... wild wild wet ... wahahahahaha ...
we say liao next time go there ... haha ...

then the food there nice ... tempt me ... succeed ... i ate sth like ee mee ... haha

is nice ... haha ... then boom went off for home ...
mel took train home .. me and yl took bus ... yeah ... haha ... a double decker ... haha ... sit at the back ... haha ... have loads of *** ... fun la ... haha ... also wif mentos also right ... so next time see mentos will think of *** haha ... lol ...
gross is all she say ... haha ... but ok la ... thats the way it is and thats the way it shld be ...
haha ...
ya how can i forget ... got 100 plus also ma hor ... haha ... muack ...
then haha reach her home liao ... hmm ... spend quite some time there before i see her enter her hse ... hmm ... ***

hmm ... then went home ... first thing i do is bath ... wa come out shoik ... then online saw her not in her sis also ... then i think ... cos jus now she say sis using then she wanna blog also ... so if her sis isnt online then she shld be sleeping ... cos if she is buz she will also online first ... then i wait wait no have then went to eat and see tv ... then wanna blog de ... then i think she no online i blog liao nth to read ... then jus nice parent came back liao .. got food and tv ... so went see loh ...

haha then when come back see com ...
haha online liao ... so
start to write bloggie la ... that y u are reading this loh ... haha dude ...

haha ...
okok signing off liao ... wrote too much ..

muacks ... lub ya ...

wad a day today ...

2004-08-28T00:11:00.000-07:00

haha morning hai woke up lazyly then late
hai then in mrt ... haha guess they are at mrt also ...
want to see her ...

haha wor come down escal cant see sad ... but haha she is at the other end ... block by the control tower ... haha ... lol
when saw her ... haha she is so pretty ... haha veri pretty ... pink swim suit wor ...
veri chio haha ... muacks ..

haha ... lol ... then lesson break at 9 haha then went to the other other side then there can see the swimming pool ... haha ... first is saw all boys ... sian .. then hey sw 3 girls ... haha cant see her ... haha block by tree . but awhile later haha saw her liao ... haha ... they all palying happily ... good ... enjoy wor ... i here boring ... haha ...
then met her in fj to eat ... haha she ate 2 pan cake ... think i don know she is hungry ... but wanna eat in afternoon haha ... hmm me have been spending alot on food ... hai .. cannot must eat less liao ... haha ...

then hor i 1 end lesson then go labby till 2 ... tot they finish at 2 ma ... then waited in fj ... haha so tired so lie there abit ... haha then they 3 then come out ... haha ... i am ok wif the waiting la ... haha ... ya i am hungry ... haha

then she went to amk meet friend ... wa ... alot of Qns ... is impossible type de she ask ... wont happen de loh ... wahah ... i am like arghs ... spare me pls ...

haha ... hmm first saw the bloggiee got the *** hmm been thinking ... haha is a guy ...
haha but nvm ... i remember the msn toking can liao ... hai

wonder there is how many more *** i will heart attack one day if still got any ... haha ...

then when going for training she call .. haha she so bored ... wanna tok but low batt ... haha ... lol loh ...

then later she call ... gave me a shock ... haha heng everything is ok ... that is good liao ... haha ... phew ... haha ...

hmm now tirely typing this bloggy ... haha ... chatting feeling so hungry ... wanna bite sth ... haha

buai buai ... go find food liao ... sniff sniff